Reply to Is this appropriate?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Is this appropriate? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, so you can't call your husband to make sure he's on his way home or for whatever reason you need to but he's totally ok with Jane calling him anywhere , anytime?  Ask your lousy therapist this next time. [/quote]

OP here - thank you for this!  This is such an excellent point.  I just had another discussion with DH and told him this.  He agreed with this point and said he will make sure he is available to talk to me whenever I want to call him.  I said - why am a I controlling bitch if I call you on your commute home??? And I only do that every once in a while and yet, you called "Jane" at all hours - inlcuding weekend when you would sneak out to the store or garage.  He totally got my point. [/quote]

OP, I really feel for you and am sorry you are going through this. You are in strong denial, though. Whether he got your point about the phone calls or not seems irrelevant to me. Whether he gets your point about any of this is irrelevant. [u]The only thing that is relevant is that he is having an affair. [/u][b]

They think they are in love. Do you get that? I would be surprised if it hadn't turned physical already, considering they work and live near each other. They are in love and talking constantly -- there is NO way they are only meeting for coffee every once in awhile.

If you had a way of accessing his emails, I think you would be shocked at what you'd find. I guarantee you they are exchanging I love you's and talking about their future together. [/quote]

Unfortunately,  I totally agree with you. [/quote]

As do I. OP, you have gotten some really excellent advice here.  Now TAKE IT. You are spinning uselessly right now and making so many mistakes. You cannot use logic to get your DH to acknowledge the affair. As others have said, he will only admit to what you have evidence of. So now get evidence of the affair. VAR? PI?

[b]Also, I guaran-damn-tee you that he will appear to stop talking to her. But he will have a pay as you go phone, which will probably be stashed in his car, so he can continue his affair.[/b]

[/quote]

Yep. He will definitely stop contacting her with his cell phone, but he will be calling her from work and likely from a prepaid phone as well. I am the one who reminded you that they think they are in love. They are not going to just stop talking easily. The fog of the affair is very, very powerful.[/quote]

OP, think of it this way. He's addicted to talking to and seeing Jane. He's convinced himself that she "understands him." No way in hell is giving her up so easily. You have to be several steps ahead of him here, and that means lawyer, making sure that he leaves the house-- not you and the kids. He screwed up, he goes. Why should they be uprooted? He knows you're more invested in this and he wants to keep the status quo for as long as possible because he's too lazy and cowardly to tell you he's leaving, and actually leave. It's too much effort, and too expensive for him, to remove himself. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics