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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh, so you can't call your husband to make sure he's on his way home or for whatever reason you need to but he's totally ok with Jane calling him anywhere , anytime?  Ask your lousy therapist this next time. [/quote]

OP here - thank you for this!  This is such an excellent point.  I just had another discussion with DH and told him this.  He agreed with this point and said he will make sure he is available to talk to me whenever I want to call him.  I said - why am a I controlling bitch if I call you on your commute home??? And I only do that every once in a while and yet, you called "Jane" at all hours - inlcuding weekend when you would sneak out to the store or garage.  He totally got my point. [/quote]

Yes, I imagine he did totally get your point. He's gaslighting you when he can, but when the evidence backs him into a corner, he'll be good enough to totally get your point.

I feel so bad for you OP. I've been where you are and made the same mistakes you're making. I hope you have a better outcome, but I don't think you will.[/quote]

He's just trying to save his ass by agreeing with you when he's backed into a corner - Jane probably helped him figure out a strategy to deal with you. Or perhaps she was sobered by your call and they are temporarily backing off from what clearly is an emotional affair.
It is very possible that neither has processed that this is a full-blown affair if nothing physical has happened yet.
Your DH is in denial. See a lawyer.[/quote]

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