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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here...It is weird.  He met with counselor by himself first.  then at our first joint session, all he wanted to talk about was me and my issues, i.e., what he does not like about me.  At the second session (before I knew anything about Jane still), I pushed back and really vented about him  --- I explained why and how I thought he contributed to the marriage breakdown.  i admitted my part completely and fully but he had and still has a very difficult time admitting that he is at fault, too.  And now with the Jane thing, I am at my wit's end.  For example, in session 2, he said I was "controlling" and claimed I called him every night if he was late coming home from work.  Counselor agreed with him and said I can't call until he is 15 minutes late.  I said - I don't do that...I call sometimes if there is bad weather mostly because I am worried about highway and accidents.  The phone bills for both months showed that I was correct - I called him exactly 3 times on his commute home.  He went on an on about how it is okay for him to be 15 - 30 minutes late because he can't control traffic and weather, which is obvious. However, the phone bills show that he would call Jane at 6 p.m. and talk for 45 minutes and thus he would get home late DUE TO HIM TALKING TO HER.  This happened repeatedly in Jan and Feb.  So, his main issue with me - that I am controlling - is not quite true...It is weird  -- he told counselor I can't call him (2nd session) but now with the phone bills, I find out the true reason - he is chatting with her on his commute home and doesn't want to be disturbed.  Also he would often not answer his phone and tell me he did not hear the ringer. [/quote]

Oh, so you can't call your husband to make sure he's on his way home or for whatever reason you need to but he's totally ok with Jane calling him anywhere , anytime?  Ask your lousy therapist this next time. [/quote]

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