Reply to Husbands: do you secretly wish your SAH wives bought in a paycheck?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm wondering why, in the high HHI scenarios being spoken of here, this is an either/or -- either the meals are cooked, house is clean, kids are cared for, clothes are washed/dry-cleaned, stress is low, and wife stays home, OR meals are takeout, house is messy, kids are on their own, stress is high, and wife works.

If you make a lot of money (let's say, top 1% in DC area) and wife's income would be "fraction" of yours, wouldn't you be able to outsource everything (nanny, cooking, housekeeping, laundry, errands, etc.) so that both of you work outside of the home but don't have to to the grunt work at home? Seems like this would actually be the ideal scenario. Two working parents in a high-income household minus the stress of cooking/cleaning/laundry/errands, with the added security of a second income for the "just in case" scenarios? [/quote]

We tried outsourcing a lot so that we could maintain 2 busy professional careers. It is hard to outsource everything. And at some point, our children wanted us, not a hired third party. Of course it is easy to outsource the laundry. It is much harder to outsource the childcare when you have a sick child who wants you or you find out the night before that your child has a school performance the next day. For us, it came down to either getting 2 nannies or one of is cutting back/quitting. And I fully understand that is not a choice many would make or can make. But it works for us. [/quote]

Why would you only find out the night before about a school performance? I work full time and yet receive the same emails the SAHMs do about school events. Sounds like you and your spouse were not very connected to the school community while WOH.[/quote]

I am just using this as an example. There are lots of things that cannot be effectively outsourced. And, I guess I like doing some of that stuff. I don't want to outsource the cooking. I want to be the one to pick my kids up from school. I want to be able to see most of their school performances. I was unable to do these things when I worked. [/quote]

What is with all this outsourcing that SAHMs think us working moms do?

I outsource cleaning (mostly) and laundry. I drop my kids off at school each morning and get them from Tae Kwan Do each day at 4:30. I've never missed an event at their school and between DH and I one of us is in each of their classrooms helping out for each of them at least once a month. Do people outsource this? If they do I've never heard of it.

If I were to SAH, I would STILL have someone clean my home and do my laundry cause I hate that shit. I would still take my kids to TKD because they love it and it is great for them to get an hour and a half of exercise each day after school. As it is I cook dinner each and every night. It sure does help that I work from home. Heck, I went on a 5 mile run today at lunch and am still sitting in my sweaty gym clothes. With my kids in school, I seriously cannot imagine what I would do with myself all day....would I be like my dog and just sleep?[/quote]

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