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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find the suggestions to divorce him or offer an ultimatum astonishing.  Switch genders:  now how does this sound?  I agree with the PP who said that, if a man wrote this post arguing that his SAH wife needed to get a job or he was considering divorce, comments would be resoundingly against him.

Also, OP, can you have a little compassion for the guy?  Long-term unemployment sucks away people's confidence.  [b]It is expecially hard on men. [/b] He probably isn't doing much because he feels diminished and frozen.  This is someone whom you presumably love -- quit feeling sorry for yourself and consider how he feels.[/quote]

Why is that?[/quote]

Not the poster you're quoting, but many people hold the same opinion as the OP that a man's job is to provide financially for his family. When you end up in a situation where you are unable to fulfill your primary obligation, it's demoralizing and stressful. I hate to quit harping on the gender roles that are at play here and the degree to which they are toxic, but come on. The OP has said on several occasions that her respect and love for her husband is diminished because he is not employed. If you turned that around and had a man say "My wife cares for our child during the week and takes care of the house, and is trying to get a small business off the ground, but I just don't respect or love her anymore because she's not bringing in a paycheck", everyone on this board would be jumping down his throat about it. [/quote]

You're having a theoretical and philosophical conversation. That won't pay the bills. OP isn't asking for assistance on how to get back to a position of respect for her husband because it hurts her heart that she feels this way. She's having practical problems of paying the bills. He needs to put his big boy pants on and get a job. That's what people say on this board all the time regardless of gender. [/quote]

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