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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can your child have a second middle name, just informally?  Not the same thing at all, but sometimes people can be mollified.  Granted, she is behaving abominably but there may be other reasons and it may require some Tai Chi solution like that.  You could make an embroidered pillow with the four names and that might be something to show you care about her wishes.  Years from now maybe you all can laugh about the kerfuffle (if she recovers her senses.)

I had a couple of close calls with what my kids would call my grandparents.  I wanted them to call my mom 'Grandma' and my MIL 'Nana' so they would be clearly differentiated for the little kids.  My mom already had been "Gramma" to a passel of kids.  But for my MIL, my child was her first grandchild and she wanted to be Grandma or "Gramma" in the worst way.   Thankfully my mom agreed they would be "Nana and Granddad" to my kids, despite being Gramma to 9 others.  It was all a tempest in a teapot and I'm sheepish.  Years later, yes---we laugh about it.  Like when my mom calls the kids and says "It's Gramma!" and the kids correct her: "You mean, Nana?"[/quote]

No! Please do not cave into your manipulative mom! This will only positively reinforce her bad behavior. If you cave, get ready for more blackmailing down the road![/quote]

The approach I suggested (an informal middle name) is not caving.  It is a gesture of compromise.  If I've learned anything over my 55 years, it is that you can't fight unreasonableness with a response of the same nature.  Identifying the crux of the problem and suggesting a solution can be disarming, and in any case will give you peace of mind that you did all you could.  If you refuse to 'cave' in any way at all it will leave neither of you any options for a future relationship.  If that's what you want, okay, but it's not a creative solution.[/quote]

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