Reply to Husband can’t set a table and doesn’t care to learn how

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Setting the table was a big deal when I was growing up, and it’s always been a priority for me to lead by example so our kids gain this life skill.

DH grew up in a family that ate standing around the kitchen, on the couch, asynchronously etc - they did not have formalized meals.  As a result, DH doesn’t know how to set a table.  When I ask him to, forks and knives are flung around, napkins haphazardly placed, no drinks etc.

It sounds small but it drives me nuts.  I’ve tried to emphasize both that this is important to me and explain how to do it, but he doesn’t seem to care.

He’s a bit absentminded in general, and loving, but not a details person.

How to deal?[/quote]

Nothing.  No way to deal with DH.  Mainly, because there is not too much need for proper table manners.    You teach it to your kids.  Also, you can print the place-settings on a piece of paper or table placement reference guide mats  (on Amazon, Zazzle, Temu)  and that let your kids and DH follow it.  Usually the reference mats are too fussy.

I came from a 3rd-world country where proper "western" dining etiquette was a sign of education and upper-class behavior.  I was aghast at the poor table manners that I saw in USA. One can argue that things were more egalitarian here and so no one needed to be posh or uppity.  Still, I taught it to my kids and also followed some youtube table manners videos.

If this means a lot to you, then you need to have some simple structure and rules around your meal times, table settings etc.  If most of the time you are getting take outs or eating while commuting from one EC activity to another - then what kind of table settings do you want?

Break down all the steps and processess of setting table, bringing food from kitchen to table, clean up, manners at the table etc.  Maybe you want all this fuss only on Sundays or something. [/quote]

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