Reply to My 22 Year Old Stepdaughter Lives at Home and I’m Unsure How to Handle Her Behavior

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Reply to "My 22 Year Old Stepdaughter Lives at Home and I’m Unsure How to Handle Her Behavior"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]That is neglect. Room board and drug money are not all it takes to parent.  
I bet your little darlings get all sorts of treats and enrichment programs and teams don't they?[/quote]
She’s an adult, it’s not neglect. Yes, of course my children have everything they need.[/quote]

Oh FFS. You seem to think buying them everything you need is good parenting. But good parenting requires FAR more than that. Your stepdaughter needs boundaries. She needs accountability. Maybe she needs some tough love. She needs someone to help her get mental health treatment. Is she getting that from her father who supposedly is a good parent? No she is not. Would you want your DH to ignore your children's needs if they get in this kind of situation? [/quote]

No, he isn’t neglecting her needs. He’s doing the best that he can.[/quote]

What specifically is he doing, though? You've been asked many times and haven't said even one action that he has taken. [/quote]

He’s talked to her multiple times about her behavior, and has asked her to be more productive, work, go back to school, or do something, but she doesn’t listen. He’s tried multiple times.[/quote]

Oh wow, multiple times. Over a year! My goodness what a strong, motivated man you have! Truly he is the leader of the family and the head of the household.

Nothing here will change until your husband gets off the couch. You have a DH problem. We can tell you what he should do, but until he is willing to actually do it, nothing changes. Enjoy catering to a grown woman the rest of your life. Because your DH is fine with dumping that on you.[/quote]

I’ve never had any issues or arguments with my husband, really ever. He’s told her what to do multiple times. She says no, doesn’t listen. [/quote]

Oh, FFS! You really can't think of anything whatsoever your husband could do if his genius plan of talking to her fails to get results? People have given you good advice here-- but it's only going to work if your husband gets off the couch and intervenes. Are you satisfied with your adult stepdaughter living with you forever and you doing all the chores? Because that's where this is headed.

It's really sad that your husband is allowing his daughter to waste years of her life. And it's even more sad that you don't see that your husband is the problem here.[/quote]

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