Reply to No proposal/ring on Valentines Day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Any woman who sits around waiting for a proposal loses my respect. Marriage is a partnership. We aren't in the 1300s. Both people should talk it through and decide if and when they want to get married. Women are  competent adults who are more than capable of equal adults partnerships. This focus on getting a ring to take pictures of for instagram is nonsense. Have a conversation, decide together if marriage is what you want and if you are on the same timeline and then make decisions for your own life. This sitting around pining for a ring and a man to hold it out in front of him just makes women look pathetic.[/quote]

I think you don't understand. A lot of time these are people who want to get married and are in great relationships, but the man isn't proposing for *reasons* that he can't even explain.

My dh and I had so many conversations and both wanted marriage, but he wanted to wait until 30 (we were 25 and had dated for 3.5 years). He just had the number 30 stuck in his brain, but it didn't match the reality of having met his wife in college. DH later agreed it was stupid that he had waited. We loved being married before we had kids in our 30s. We supported each other financially through our masters degrees and bought 2 houses together. Those were things I would never have done if we hadn't been married (I was not going to financially support a boyfriend!).

I wasn't sitting around pining for a ring. I was focused on getting married to start a marriage. I didn't want to wake up at 30 and have wasted 8 years on someone who then decided he didn't want to marry after all.

I think ultimatums help women move on from guys who are wasting their time. It's helpful.[/quote]

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