Reply to No proposal/ring on Valentines Day

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I see “ultimatums” as a form of being clear about expectations, Why do they get such a bad rap?

My DH and I (married 18 years) dated almost 10 years before we got married. We got engaged the day after our 9th dating anniversary. We had started dating in our teens as freshman in college and hadn’t felt the need to marry young.

The Sept I was about to turn 28 we went to a wedding. I said after “I felt jealous and that made me feel sad. I don’t want to go to any more weddings as your girlfriend. We can go engaged or separately but I’m done going as your date. Also, if we’re on the same page and want to get married, I’d really like to marry before I’m 30 and it might take awhile to plan a wedding all my close relatives can attend.”

He said “cool! When’s the next wedding?” And I said “June”

I March, channeling some pressure from my mom, I said “I’ll be 29 in the fall, we’re dated all our 20s, and I’m getting worried we don’t want the same thing” and he said “you told me I had until June to propose.” Lol. He proposed in early May. [/quote]

That’s not an ultimatum. That’s letting him know he was wasting your time [/quote]

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