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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the parent that allows supervised drinking. We, and other parents, are well aware of the legal risks, especially in Maryland and Virginia and that's why we are very careful and have talked to the kids about those issues. One thing that I think is important is to have lots of communication betwen parents. No surprises. [b]So nobody is going to let their kid show up, hopped up, on post-dental surgery drugs.[/b] But again, I accept the legal risks because I hope it avoids other risks such as binge drinking and drunk driving.  [/quote]

Are you sure you can tell? Because I probably couldn't always tell.[/quote]

And unless you're searching them you can't prevent a kid bringing a handful of pills and popping them in the bathroom.  To each his own, but I don't think I'd want to risk my own neck (legally speaking) based on trusting a teenager to not do something stupid because they so appreciate the ability to drink in the comfort of your home.  Teens push boundaries, it's just part of being a teen.  [/quote]

Not the host but another PP.  Look, kids can show up anywhere and do anything.  They can pick your child up in their car for a seemingly innocent evening and be under the influence of something.  They can slip your child something at a chaperoned school dance.  They can offer him something at lunch time.  You can't prevent any of this and coming up with these scenarios is ridiculous.  There will always be scenarios.  Frankly it seems less likely that something scary will happen when all the parents are on board and parents are present.  Again, I wouldn't take PP's approach but I think the reaction is ridiculous.[/quote]

So tell us, why exactly wouldn't you take PP's approach? I'm "Are you sure you can tell?" above, although not a scenario poster, and I'm not sure what you read into my post or other posts that makes you think we're over the top -- especially since you seem to agree with us about not hosting such a party in your house. Yes it's true, as you say, that my kid might easily get drugs or alcohol at school. Or my kids might go without my knowledge to the alcohol party at PP's house. I understand that I can't control much of this, and I think other PP's do, too.  But here are my personal reasons for not wanting to have this party at my house: (1) some of the scenarios above are low probability, but not zero probability; (2) we would seem to be condoning it.

FWIW, we serve a glass of wine to our teenagers at big family dinners. When DC got accepted ED we offered champagne to a few of DC's friends after clearing it with their families. But hosting a teen alcohol party takes this to a whole new level of condoning things and risk-taking, IMO.

So why don't you give us your specific reasons for not wanting to host a teen alcohol party in your house? [/quote]

+1 I am a scenario poster.  Maybe those scenarios are unlikely, though given my experiences as a teenager at a private school (one of the "good" kids), I think they probably happen more than some people might think. There were a lot of "good" kids who self-policed really well with alcohol I knew who were dabbling with pills because they were really really easy to get.  Maybe that has changed since I was a teen. I also see no problem giving a glass of wine or champagne to my kids at a big family dinner/holiday in my own home.  The problem is when you host the teen alcohol party in your house, you're on the hook for what happens whether the parents give you a verbal ok about the beer or not.  I'm not an attorney, and maybe these folks are getting written waivers or something from the other parents, but it didn't sound that formal in the post.  That's where my reaction is coming from.  It's not a "wow, you're crappy parents" since they sound like they clearly care about their child's safety, it's more of a "wow, you're taking a risk legally here."  Apparently these parents think that risk is less of a risk than hoping a pick you up anytime no questions policy will keep their child from drunk driving or getting in a car with a drunk.  I think I'd rather trust my kid to be responsible with a no drunk driving rule than to trust other people's kids not to do something stupid under my roof while I'm providing them with alcohol.  I'd also be worried about one of the other kids mentioning it to someone not included in the house party and getting CPS called out.  School staff = mandatory reporter, so if it makes it to the ears of a grown up at school...  Guess I'm just a nervous Nellie about potential legal ramifications. [/quote]

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