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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There are clearly a lot of people with perceptions that their children face racial bias and, at a minimum, stereotyping.  Again, it's hard to feel even-handed and cool-headed if your child is in trouble, but I have seen numerous parents of all races blame the school or say their child is being picked on.  The white parents who do this tend to say there is a personality conflict with a teacher or coach who does not like/picks on their child; they also will say (unless they are wealthy) that class determines the treatment of their child.  Some of the AA parents use the same arguments, some raise issues of racial bias.

In all the cases I can think of, the amazing thing is that the punishment/treatment really was the same across the board as in the past.  But people get selective memories and/or (perhaps even more frequently) just aren't in a position to know what has happened in the past unless they've had multiple kids stretching over many years, for example, or have a friend/spouse working at the school.  It is understandable -- the instinct to defend one's young is powerful -- but at least at the school I am thinking of the suspicions of unfair disciplinary treatment, by parents of ALL races, seem misplaced.  And I do think that a lot of time it distracts attention away from the real issue: the child, and how the issue arose in the first place.  Maybe the school is not a good academic fit.  Maybe there are learning issues.  Maybe there is a substance issue that could be nipped in the bud if dealt with early.  Maybe there is a situation with online addiction (the articles on screen time for teens and college students will turn your hair).

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I have 6 years in the private school environment as a parent and as an employee and your post is dead on and very well balanced. Insecure parent,[b] read above.[/b][/quote]

"I guess I would advise AA parents or other parents of under--represented minorities to balance vigilance (because prejudice still exists) with trust in approaching the school, and try to really get to know some of your childrens' teachers so if you are getting a bad feeling about something you might have a good internal sounding board to raise your concerns."

How exactly does a parent really get to know their children's teachers, at a cocktail party?  During a conference?  I'm responding as if the child is in middle school or higher.  At DS's school, teachers follow what appears to be a school-guided protocol in communicating with parents.  Perhaps parents that teachers find easier to relate to have a different experience.

Clearly OP was having a bad internal feeling that prompted her to put this post up. 
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