Reply to MIL cuts us off, then demands holiday access. Advice?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s not abandonment if she never actually leaves or go no contact. I would treat pronouncements like this similar to when 5-6 year olds declare they are running away. It’s a way to say they are very upset when they don’t have the maturity/emotional health to manage hurt feelings more constructively. It’s up to you to decide whether she brings more good than not, but I definitely wouldn’t base anything from her “going no contact” since that doesn’t happen. [/quote]

I hate these analogies. Yes, developmentally, if my 5 year old says she hates me and is going to run away, I am unbothered and I still cook her dinner and put her to bed with a kiss. My 68 year old MIL is not my 5 year old daughter. If she tells me she doesn’t like me and is going to not visit us for a few months until she can stand to be around me again, that’s not the same thing. At all. And [b]I’m not going to put up with being treated that way by another adult who then comes crawling back and wanting things from me at Christmas[/b]. No. [/quote]

Exactly. I feel it's only one or two posters who post continually about sucking it up - maybe they don't even read the OP. I would never do that in this scenario. You are entirely correct that parents accept behavior from a small child that they should not accept from anyone else.

I would put my foot down here and teach MIL consequences. Either she learns it, or she doesn't, but at least she's not in my house.

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