Reply to should I watch one grandchild for free?

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[quote=Anonymous]As a DIL I have noticed the difference in how my family is prioritized. My MIL was in the hospital and there for several weeks after to help when my SIL's had their babies. She didn't visit mine until they were almost a month old and only stayed for 1-2 days. Over the years she has visited SILs far more frequently whereas we have a standing invite to visit them but they only come to us once every 3 years or so.  (We are in the middle distance wise. No one is local. Think 5 hrs, 10 hrs, cross country flight) If you counted it all up, she has probably spent 7-8x more hours with my nieces/nephews at least). Now that the kids are all teens, it is obvious that MIL has a closer relationship with the other kids. She doesn't love them more.  She just knows them better.

I think this stems from multiple things. MIL is scared to impose, DH never asks for help/visits, I have a good but not super close relationship with MIL, etc.  SILs, on the other hand, want their mom and ask her to visit constantly- so she does. MIL likes to be needed, and they seem to "need" her more than we do. We visit 2-3 times a year, but they are 10 hours away.. so its tough to go more often. There is no bad blood, but it is sadly apparent that there is a different relationship and it bled into how the children interact with their grandparents (and each other).

Bottom line- I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are offering- but it will impact relationships over time. Doesn't mean you love them less, and they will still know the love is equal. But time is so precious.[/quote]

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