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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]lol, you don’t know why she says no but she says “ something about how I’m not helping run the family and then I get angry when it’s brought up” so maybe if you don’t get angry when she tells you she is caring for the entire and wants help, maybe start there.  Besides cleaning, plan and cook some meals, organize a family outing or cart kids around to activities could be a place to start[/quote]

Yeah, it’s really smart to have sex with your husband conditional on helping with cleaning and cooking. Not having sex for years will definitely help him see your perspective.

Clearly the household chores should be shared, but it depends on career choices financial considerations etc.

Then you’ll figure out he is getting it elsewhere and feel betrayed that he wanted something else. [/quote]

I don’t know a single woman who has felt more betrayed by a husband cheating than she did about him not participating in the family life that they decided to create together.  For most women who are cheated on, the use of time and family resources on the affair is the main source of resentment.

Imagine that her not having sex with you when you don’t help with cooking and cleaning is like you refusing to cook dinner for her when she screwed the neighbor that afternoon.  Sure.  It isn’t going to help your marriage to refuse.  But is it really a reasonable thing to ask you to do?  [/quote]

Then it’s about finding an arrangement that works for both of you. He has to wine and dine the AP to get some, and you can ask for hired help for the domestic chores. Sounds like a win-win for both of you, definitely your DH might be fine with it. That, or an expensive divorce that will ruin your kids lives. Don’t be selfish! Curious to see how you’d see this resolved acceptably.[/quote]

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