Reply to Do your teens expect you to cook meals for them over the summer?

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[quote=Anonymous]I feel like expect gets used two different ways, and that makes things confusing.

One thing that expect means is that you know there's a pattern and you anticipate it continuing.

I expect my toddler to whine when it's time to go home from the park.

I expect my mother will give me a shirt for my birthday and make a comment about how she picked it because she hopes it will make me look less fat.

In my experience, people notice when things happen repeatedly, and then they expect them.  If you've always fed your kid dinner, your kid will expect you to tonight.  They will not be surprised if you do.  They will be surprised if you don't.

The other meaning of expect is when people deliberately set an expectation.  In some ways, this kind of "expect" is the opposite of the other kind because it means you are trying to change.  I've told my sons I "expect" them to put the toilet seat down.  I have not told my daughters because I have always been able to expect that they would.

In our family, we eat meals together whenever possible, and my kids have come to expect that I am ultimately responsible for meals.  That might mean I make them, or I communicate to someone else to make them, or I make them together with a kid as a teaching lesson.

Sometimes, I set a specific "expectation" that my kids will make dinner.  I ask them, or we agree that they'll cook on Tuesdays, or they offer.

I'll also add for all of those people saying that their 12 year old cooks, in our house late elementary and middle school is the perfect age for that.  My current teenagers cooked regularly in middle school, and my 11 year old cooks one night a week.  My teens are capable cooks, but they're also really busy. They help out with a lot of things, but they tend to be things that are more flexible in terms of time than making dinner.[/quote]

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