Reply to I think I want to quit working

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are probably being influenced by the growing pro-SAHM culture. I know it’s getting to me and for the first time I’m fantasizing about quitting. [/quote]
I'm 54, and I fantasized about it because several moms around me had either quit or pulled way back when the kids were young.

But, eventually, I went back to work, first PT, then FT, because 1. I'm not really cut out to be a sahm, and 2.  I want to retire early.  A few of the moms who became a sahm had husbands who made a lot;  the others have husbands who are planning to work until 65.

Neither DH nor I want to work till 65, so I had to go back to work to contribute to our retirement so that we could both retire well before 65.

That said, the stress in the family did go way down, but by a certain age, the kids really didn't need me that much, and DH and I both had relatively flexible jobs.[/quote]

Yeah, I’m one of three women in our circle of friends who works full time and only two of us have our kids in daycare (the other can afford nanny). The culture is now shifting toward glamorizing staying home and attacking women who pursue their careers and it’s getting to me. [/quote]

As someone who has SAH since 2008, I chuckle at this. Oh the irony. Because I have spent the past 17 years feeling judged or viewed as “lazy” or “freeloading.” Maybe not when I had actual babies, but certainly after that. I’m no tradwife, not even close, but there are benefits to having a non working parent that are routinely minimized/dismissed here.[/quote]

Yes there are benefits - to the family. NOT to the woman who excises herself from the work force, lets her skill set and expertise expire, reduces her earning potential, reduces what she puts into social security, etc etc. I stayed home for about 6 years when my kids were little, I know very well the benefits that had for my family, my spouse, etc. But to have continued it forever would’ve been ruinous to me, the person, and future earning abilities, career prospects, and potential, while continuing to benefit the kids and husband. And way too many women put themselves in that position not realizing how vulnerable it makes them. [/quote]

I’m the PP who would quit if I were from a DCUM extended family that pays for a ton of stuff or if I had married money. Anyway, for people like me, while a lot of this is true, me staying home FT (and it is totally helpful to the whole family to have an adult available to run All The Things) would not actually continue to benefit my kids and my husband. It would be putting the whole family’s financial stability at risk, which benefits none of us, no matter how much easier it makes driving to soccer practice. I wouldn’t be benefitting my husband and kids at the expense of my future by staying home. I am helping keep all of us - a comfortable middle class family with zero family help - stable should something happen. Because i wouldn’t be able to waltz back into the workforce at 50. And believe me, I would quit today if I thought I could - my job is stressful and annoying and I would rather be on the couch reading at all times. [/quote]

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