Reply to If you’re happily married 16 plus years what do you attribute it to? What factors?

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[quote=Anonymous]Literally just the will to make it work.

Sometimes it sucks even if you are both great. Commitment is hard and there are going to be days when you fantasize about being free. I mean, I like and love my spouse but sometimes I look at divorced friends and it looks appealing. Especially with kids -- they basically get to be child free half the time while their kids are with their spouse. Once you've been married with kids for a while, even if you LOVE your kids and are happy with your spouse, there will be days when you wish you could just go be free, do what you want, have fewer obligations and commitments.

But at the end of the day I want to grow old with him, we treat each other well, our lives are deeply intertwined with our kids, our finances, and our life goals. Or so I remind myself when I have those days. Even when we fight or I get annoyed with him, I come back to the idea that our lives are better together than they were apart, we help and support each other, we know each other so well. I don't think it would be possible to find this level of commitment and knowledge of each other with another partner at my age, and it's really worth something.

I think people who divorce either have serious compatibility issues OR they just don't dig in and try when they get bored or feel penned in. Not a criticism -- I know lots of divorced people and I think most of them are happier and better off divorced. But for whatever reason, my DH and I always just choose to work on it and keep going. It just feels worth it to us.[/quote]

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