Reply to If you’re happily married 16 plus years what do you attribute it to? What factors?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "If you’re happily married 16 plus years what do you attribute it to? What factors? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My ex would never work on himself to fix problems.  Like he would be late to things over 300 times especially with the kids during a marriage. It got old. People would write us nastygrams. He would never put his clothes in a hamper despite trying five different ways to get him to do this. I gave him grace and didn't divorce because of this - instead over his addiction and infidelity - but honestly do not miss it. When people say they give grace to their spouse do they mean allowing problems to go on and on without ever correcting? Women constantly overspending, partying, or not cleaning the house. Men constantly getting laid off, late, or drunk? Where do you draw the line between grace and enabling? [/quote]

Yeah I would have let those things go and not nagged. My husband is perpetually late. If it’s important me, like church, I drive separately to ensure I get there in time. He also never uses a hamper. It is what it is. His other qualities more than make up for those things.  He is an adult. It’s not for me to “correct” him. It’s about respect and knowing your own lane.

I wouldn’t stay with a cheater, at least I don’t think I would. [/quote]

I think this is why I don't know that I want to ever marry again. Just accepting people as is and dealing with their problems and taking over for things I want unless it's "the most important thing to me" is bizarre. It it's an issue to me, I want to talk about it and find a win win, not just accept. Church is a bizarre one to mention as well. No one else cares if you are late except you. It affects no one else unless you are participating as a leader in the activity. Being late for the plane, the baseball game, school. Those things other people care about and affect money and other's time. I wouldn't really want to handle all the finances or drop offs or house cleaning or money making just because my spouse is an adult and I don't correct. [/quote]

Then maybe marriage isn’t for you. Shrug.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics