Reply to Does anyone else believe in Mel Robbins's Let Them theory

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I actually believe this theory is why America is going downhill. It's just another word for being self obsessed. [/quote]

Hard disagree. Assuming I understand correctly, and we are talking on an interpersonal level (not, say, a societal law enforcement level), it’s refusing to let your own ego lead you around or distract you from what really matters. You don’t actually need to respond to every insult, settle every score, defend yourself against every bad faith implication. You can just notice what’s been done, then keep going with your own thing. It’s the equivalent of saying “okay” instead of taking the bait.

I started doing this at a certain point in my life, and it was so freeing. It also made it abundantly clear whom I wanted to spend time with…and didn’t. Gave me a better sense of humor, too. Agree with a PP that the stoics have a lot of good things to say here.[/quote]

Yup. Let them be wrong about you. [b]The life coach school says people pleasing is manipulative,[/b] which pairs nicely with this. [/quote]

I would really like to know more about this idea [/quote]

Oprah has said people pleasing is a survival skill. [/quote]

I'm sure I'm in the minority but I was never a fan of Oprah.  That lady has zero ounce of sincerity in her and the statement above makes sense - make no mistake, a person who thinks that pleasing people is a necessity will always seek to please themselves first.  It's called manipulation.  You can never trust someone who does that for the sheer joy of it.  There's a difference between manipulating for leverage or to achieve a particular goal but not as a blanket philosophy.  I've never liked her - I think she is the ultimate extrovert and it's easy to love someone who is bubbly and full of enthusiasm but I never really saw what she did that was so good.  She interviewed people on a show and gave out gifts.  That's how she made her money.  I'm more team Martha Stewart as she at least offered skills and knowledge.  I can't explain it but I've just never liked Oprah even when she was at the height of her fame.

Manipulation is not a horrible thing.  To the victor go the spoils and winning is not a sin.  But I don't know - some people just rub me the wrong way and Oprah does but Martha does not.  Not sure exactly why.[/quote]

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