Reply to Need advice from moms who work long hours at very demanding jobs

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[quote=Anonymous]I am really surprised by how harsh all this commentary is.  I have three kids—one in college and two in HS.  For most of the lives (pre pandemic), I left at 8 and got home at 6:30-7.  We had a series of a few nannies.  My kids definitely know who their mom is!  I spend every weekend with them, had dinner with them almost every night (usually home cooked) and put them to bed, reading books every night.  I made their lunches, went to their school parties and at least one field trip a year, knew their friends and teachers, and went to all their doctors appointments (and most of their dental appointments).  I did all the scouts campus and led my daughters’ Girl Scout troops.   just took leave days or worked different hours to do the things that fell during normal work hours like teacher meetings or doctors appointments.  I planned their birthday parties, decorated the house with them for holidays, baked cookies with them, etc, etc.   my kids are all nice and well adjusted and do well in school.

OP said she’d be home by 7 every night and home all weekends—this doesn’t sound that unusual to me.  (If she could push it to 6:30 that wiould be even better cause then you can have dinner on table by 7.))  Most kids want to hang out with their friends after school anyway, or have sports practice.  The nanny was great for being able to host play dates, drive their to friends houses or to sports practices.

OP, if I were you, I would prioritize nightly dinner.  Dinner at 7 is fine, with bedtime between 8 and 9.  You said you work one day from home so that day is easy.  Another night you can have a casserole that nanny puts in over for you.  Another night have nanny put water on for pasta and you can sautee fish or meat and vegetables/sauce in 10 minutes while pasta cooks.  Another night have takeout or prepared foods.  Husband cooks two other nights.

If you don’t want the job, that’s fine.  But people acting like this is child abused are ridiculous. Throughout the course of human history mothers have engaged in all sorts of labor.  And most of them have done it with many fewer conveniences and resources than you have.  Most didn’t even have a microwave, never mind take out food and husbands that can cook.  [/quote]

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