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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cannot believe how many inappropriate posts I see in my kids Facebook college group. Questions regarding handling roommate situations (DDs roommate vapes, what should I tell her to do? Should I call the RA?), oversharing medical info (dd needs a gyn for an infection, ds is having anxiety) and then of course the pile of rants about the food in the dining hall (dd doesn’t like the food! What can she eat??). No wonder so many kids have anxiety. My mom dropped me off at college 1000 miles away and I did not see her again on my campus until graduation.

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My favorite (From my oldest kid's parent FB page) was what is referred to as "bacon gate".  A parent complaining about "no bacon in the main dining hall and what should they do to solve this problem".  Thankfully 99% of the responses were, you have your adult child who is the college student ask someone in the dining hall "where's the bacon".

I get some questions are from first gen parents/lower income parents who may not have had the privilege of experiencing college themselves or seen it with family over the years so I give them some grace, as do most.  
But the main response is typically "here is who to contact, but it Needs to be your student who does the contacting".

And I say this as a parent of a ND student who struggled their freshman year.  Lots of decisions about taking W (to save GPA and their mental health), and the ultimate "breakdown" of getting an exam back at 9:30pm, the grade was bad (yet again) and would need to drop this key course for the intended major.  This also was the night before my kid had to register for fall sophomore classes at 10am the next day.  So from 9:30pm-about midnight, I was on the phone with my anxiety ridden kid helping them plan changes to their future.  But I only guided the discussion.  Then once they arrived at a conclusion---of a possible new major, I helped guide them with what needed to be done in the morning to start the change of major and get registered for correct classes.  
Now my kid did all the work---I didn't contact anyone.  But if I'm paying $40-50K/year for college, I'm going to guide my kid/roll play scenarios so they know what to say and what to do.   My kid was fine, at 8am was waiting for the first signature needed, and went from there.  Had it all done and successfully registered for new major courses at 10am.

But I know if I just told my kid, figure it out, while they are having a panic attack and giving up their dream major (for 10+ years), I needed to remain calm and guide the process a bit.  But I would never actually DO the work for them.  Just be a sounding board and calming factor[/quote]

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