Reply to Is it wrong for me not to pay college for 2.7 and 3.0 gpa students?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college.  DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors.  How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”
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[b]Kids become high achieving excellent students who are involved in extracurricular activities because of the nurturing home and intelligent parents who prioritize education.  You are a dud who has raised duds.[/b]  Send them to college or not send them to college, it does not matter.  Their success or failure does not concern you because you are a checked out parent. 
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I'm not the OP, but my child struggled in school no matter what we did to try to help her. I NEVER checked out. We got her the help we could and she chose whether or not to use it. We encouraged her to participate in things, and she wanted nothing to do with school clubs. The only thing she cared enough to stick with was her performing art that she did in and out of school.

I'm not claiming to be the best parent - far from it. But we busted our ass and become emotionally exhausted to help our child to the best of our ability and she didn't do great in HS. That is NOT on us - she cannot be FORCED into being a great student.[/quote]
+1 College educated parents making $300k.  Oldest child NMSF, 1560 SAT CS major. Child 2 2.6 GPA, cuts class constantly, skips practices, pothead, suicide attempts. Multiple therapists, specialized schooling etc. Numerous sleepless nights. Trying our best. [/quote]

There are some things beyond a caring parent’s control. One has to deal with what the kid brings.

Many years ago I had a 1500 on the SAT (rare then), top 10 in my class, ranked number 3 in my athletic event nationally, and so on. My parents could not have cared less about what I did. Father abandoned the family and mother was an addict. On my own completely since 17.  I went on to do well at university, because I was prepared for nothing else. I didn’t think anything I did was remarkable because I was just being myself. I didn’t have any interest in drinking or drugs - perhaps I hated losing in athletics too much. Again just being myself.

My kids went to Princeton. I did nothing but feed and clothe them. I never checked on their grades or homework - never. They were fine being themselves. I did pay for college of course. It was their thing though.

I wonder what kids would do today in my situation- I didn’t view it as all that tough as I had incredible freedom with no one in my hair. Very conscious of having no safety net but better than parents in setting boundaries.

I recognize I have an odd view of parenting and may just be lucky. [/quote]

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