Community college.

In my state, if you complete 30 credits with a 3.0, you can transfer to the flagship or another college in the state university system.

There are scholarships for transferring CC students that cover most or even all tuition.

Anonymous wrote:8:06 - I am sorry for your parental situation. It is good you were able to rise above and just do it for yourself. I think you do acknowledge you aren’t typical.

I was similar in the not really needing my parents to guide/motivate me. I just did what I did. It wasn’t hard for me. Now, my parents were involved, loving, etc, but I was just self motivated, self assured, all of it.

I married someone who took the harder path - Barely graduated hs, got in with a terrible crowd. He enlisted and the military time did help him quite a bit. He started college, did very well, and in the end finished a degree in electrical engineering.

Our first child just has struggles AND is hard headed (a trait she inherited from both of us). We have tried and tried to help her. HS just didn’t go well, no matter how hard we worked with and for her.

Our second is still pretty young, but doesn’t seem to have the same problems in school. We hope she doesn’t need the same kind of constant monitoring her big sister did.

We all have our challenges. Be thankful for your fairly easy kids and I do hope that you have made peace with your crappy family situation.

Thanks for the kind words and you have perceived the situation well. I didn’t have any relationship with my parents (divorced) as they had too many negative behaviors. Just the card I was dealt.

I have empathy for those with kids who find things difficult. I can see where at some point you have to embrace them no matter what. Again I can also see where my parenting views are odd. If I had kids who needed more help I am sure I would have pitched in. But I live by the rule of applying only the minimum dosage of medicine, so to speak. Agree with your point on being lucky - although I chose wisely with my spouse - a daughter of a Holocaust survivor - there was some baggage to wade through but an exceedingly intelligent person who obviously passed on a lot to my kids. Don’t get me wrong - having kids is not in any way a genetic experiment but without any parental role models she made things easier for me. I am far more risk averse than I would like to admit.

8:06 - I am sorry for your parental situation. It is good you were able to rise above and just do it for yourself. I think you do acknowledge you aren’t typical.

I was similar in the not really needing my parents to guide/motivate me. I just did what I did. It wasn’t hard for me. Now, my parents were involved, loving, etc, but I was just self motivated, self assured, all of it.

I married someone who took the harder path - Barely graduated hs, got in with a terrible crowd. He enlisted and the military time did help him quite a bit. He started college, did very well, and in the end finished a degree in electrical engineering.

Our first child just has struggles AND is hard headed (a trait she inherited from both of us). We have tried and tried to help her. HS just didn’t go well, no matter how hard we worked with and for her.

Our second is still pretty young, but doesn’t seem to have the same problems in school. We hope she doesn’t need the same kind of constant monitoring her big sister did.

We all have our challenges. Be thankful for your fairly easy kids and I do hope that you have made peace with your crappy family situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”

Kids become high achieving excellent students who are involved in extracurricular activities because of the nurturing home and intelligent parents who prioritize education. You are a dud who has raised duds. Send them to college or not send them to college, it does not matter. Their success or failure does not concern you because you are a checked out parent.

I'm not the OP, but my child struggled in school no matter what we did to try to help her. I NEVER checked out. We got her the help we could and she chose whether or not to use it. We encouraged her to participate in things, and she wanted nothing to do with school clubs. The only thing she cared enough to stick with was her performing art that she did in and out of school.

I'm not claiming to be the best parent - far from it. But we busted our ass and become emotionally exhausted to help our child to the best of our ability and she didn't do great in HS. That is NOT on us - she cannot be FORCED into being a great student.

+1 College educated parents making $300k. Oldest child NMSF, 1560 SAT CS major. Child 2 2.6 GPA, cuts class constantly, skips practices, pothead, suicide attempts. Multiple therapists, specialized schooling etc. Numerous sleepless nights. Trying our best.

There are some things beyond a caring parent’s control. One has to deal with what the kid brings.

Many years ago I had a 1500 on the SAT (rare then), top 10 in my class, ranked number 3 in my athletic event nationally, and so on. My parents could not have cared less about what I did. Father abandoned the family and mother was an addict. On my own completely since 17. I went on to do well at university, because I was prepared for nothing else. I didn’t think anything I did was remarkable because I was just being myself. I didn’t have any interest in drinking or drugs - perhaps I hated losing in athletics too much. Again just being myself.

My kids went to Princeton. I did nothing but feed and clothe them. I never checked on their grades or homework - never. They were fine being themselves. I did pay for college of course. It was their thing though.

I wonder what kids would do today in my situation- I didn’t view it as all that tough as I had incredible freedom with no one in my hair. Very conscious of having no safety net but better than parents in setting boundaries.

I recognize I have an odd view of parenting and may just be lucky.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”

Maryland and Virginia both have non-selective state colleges
Community colleges are open enrollment.

But no four year publics in Virginia that commonly take GPAs that low (unless hooked). Virginia has one public that may take a 2.7 at the 25th percentile but none at 2.5. So yes to community college; unlikely for four year Publics. See SCHEV

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The highest and most successful people are C and B students.

I graduated a 77 GPA. C plus. Graduated college a 2.65 GPA. No name school.

I need the degree not a GPA to work. I had a big executive office making 300k to 500k a year last 20 years.

I be cleaning toilets without my college degree

you got a cite for that? it's certainly not true in my world

You got a cite for your world?

not helpful.

You must not have a cite

stop wasting everyone's time with garbage posts.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”

Kids become high achieving excellent students who are involved in extracurricular activities because of the nurturing home and intelligent parents who prioritize education. You are a dud who has raised duds. Send them to college or not send them to college, it does not matter. Their success or failure does not concern you because you are a checked out parent.

I'm not the OP, but my child struggled in school no matter what we did to try to help her. I NEVER checked out. We got her the help we could and she chose whether or not to use it. We encouraged her to participate in things, and she wanted nothing to do with school clubs. The only thing she cared enough to stick with was her performing art that she did in and out of school.

I'm not claiming to be the best parent - far from it. But we busted our ass and become emotionally exhausted to help our child to the best of our ability and she didn't do great in HS. That is NOT on us - she cannot be FORCED into being a great student.

+1 College educated parents making $300k. Oldest child NMSF, 1560 SAT CS major. Child 2 2.6 GPA, cuts class constantly, skips practices, pothead, suicide attempts. Multiple therapists, specialized schooling etc. Numerous sleepless nights. Trying our best.

I was the person who posted this. It really is hard when your kids are so very different. My child has ADHD, anxiety, probably other undiagnosed things. Thankfully is a pretty decent kid (no drugs, doesn’t cut or skip), she just cannot seem to pull it together to do what she needs to for school. Doesn’t turn in/complete assignments, so falls behind. We had her in avid her last two years, and I don’t think it helped her much.

I was one of those annoying students who barely had to try for good grades. I don’t understand her at all. It’s hard, very hard. I know she can do better, but she’s also just hard headed.

She is in therapy and on meds. We have given her tools. She just has to use them

PP. God bless you. Ridiculously difficult I know. Helpless feeling.

Similar differences in kids here. It is like the one who doesn’t have to work hard here As and will go to college easily, maybe with some small scholarships. The one who works hard, hard has tutors and severe ADHD will maybe get into college somewhere with no help when he needs it the most. Will have to work, but will need more time to study.

I will pay because it will give him the best chance.

Society is weird that way. Life is not fair.

I haven’t read the whole thread but if my kid had mediocre grades due to any kind of immaturity, laziness, entitled behavior ie they aren’t putting in any effort, there is no way in hell they would go OOS for college. They haven’t earned that right. They can go to in state or CC and try to get to an OOS via transfer but they’d had to prove it with the grades.

If they were putting in real effort and still only getting Bs and Cs, but the hard work ethic was there it would be a different conversation and I’d try to find a school they liked where they could succeed.

It really depends on what you’re seeing in the kid OP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The highest and most successful people are C and B students.

I graduated a 77 GPA. C plus. Graduated college a 2.65 GPA. No name school.

I need the degree not a GPA to work. I had a big executive office making 300k to 500k a year last 20 years.

I be cleaning toilets without my college degree

you got a cite for that? it's certainly not true in my world

You got a cite for your world?

NP. Clearly kids with C’s and B’s in HS can go on to be highly successful. Nobody should be writing off a kid because they don’t have all A’s. But come on. You have to know that kids who are better students (on average) do better in future earnings. This can’t be a surprise to you.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/05/140519092835.htm#:~:text=High%20school%20grade%20point%20average,and%2014%20percent%20for%20women.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The highest and most successful people are C and B students.

I graduated a 77 GPA. C plus. Graduated college a 2.65 GPA. No name school.

I need the degree not a GPA to work. I had a big executive office making 300k to 500k a year last 20 years.

I be cleaning toilets without my college degree

you got a cite for that? it's certainly not true in my world

You got a cite for your world?

not helpful.

You must not have a cite

It is wrong of you to have let your kids lose out academically in the first place. You have spoiled their whole life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The highest and most successful people are C and B students.

I graduated a 77 GPA. C plus. Graduated college a 2.65 GPA. No name school.

I need the degree not a GPA to work. I had a big executive office making 300k to 500k a year last 20 years.

I be cleaning toilets without my college degree

you got a cite for that? it's certainly not true in my world

k
You got a cite for your world?

not helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”

Kids become high achieving excellent students who are involved in extracurricular activities because of the nurturing home and intelligent parents who prioritize education. You are a dud who has raised duds. Send them to college or not send them to college, it does not matter. Their success or failure does not concern you because you are a checked out parent.

I'm not the OP, but my child struggled in school no matter what we did to try to help her. I NEVER checked out. We got her the help we could and she chose whether or not to use it. We encouraged her to participate in things, and she wanted nothing to do with school clubs. The only thing she cared enough to stick with was her performing art that she did in and out of school.

I'm not claiming to be the best parent - far from it. But we busted our ass and become emotionally exhausted to help our child to the best of our ability and she didn't do great in HS. That is NOT on us - she cannot be FORCED into being a great student.

+1 College educated parents making $300k. Oldest child NMSF, 1560 SAT CS major. Child 2 2.6 GPA, cuts class constantly, skips practices, pothead, suicide attempts. Multiple therapists, specialized schooling etc. Numerous sleepless nights. Trying our best.

I was the person who posted this. It really is hard when your kids are so very different. My child has ADHD, anxiety, probably other undiagnosed things. Thankfully is a pretty decent kid (no drugs, doesn’t cut or skip), she just cannot seem to pull it together to do what she needs to for school. Doesn’t turn in/complete assignments, so falls behind. We had her in avid her last two years, and I don’t think it helped her much.

I was one of those annoying students who barely had to try for good grades. I don’t understand her at all. It’s hard, very hard. I know she can do better, but she’s also just hard headed.

She is in therapy and on meds. We have given her tools. She just has to use them

PP. God bless you. Ridiculously difficult I know. Helpless feeling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids are not high achieving students, college tuition is so incredible high. If my kids were excellent students, involved in extracurriculars then, yes, I can see paying most of it, all if they go to a state university. Right now their cum can’t even get them in a state college. DD has a glorified outlook she’ll go to an out of state, a not so “fancy” one says- they all cost $40k tuition nevermind lodging, foid, and transport. DH is the kind of guy that caves in…

They’re in a parochial, private high school that we are paying for with these lukewarm grades. I can’t afford more tutors. How did you deliver the news to the kids that they have no choice? To your “princess?”

Kids become high achieving excellent students who are involved in extracurricular activities because of the nurturing home and intelligent parents who prioritize education. You are a dud who has raised duds. Send them to college or not send them to college, it does not matter. Their success or failure does not concern you because you are a checked out parent.

I'm not the OP, but my child struggled in school no matter what we did to try to help her. I NEVER checked out. We got her the help we could and she chose whether or not to use it. We encouraged her to participate in things, and she wanted nothing to do with school clubs. The only thing she cared enough to stick with was her performing art that she did in and out of school.

I'm not claiming to be the best parent - far from it. But we busted our ass and become emotionally exhausted to help our child to the best of our ability and she didn't do great in HS. That is NOT on us - she cannot be FORCED into being a great student.

+1 College educated parents making $300k. Oldest child NMSF, 1560 SAT CS major. Child 2 2.6 GPA, cuts class constantly, skips practices, pothead, suicide attempts. Multiple therapists, specialized schooling etc. Numerous sleepless nights. Trying our best.

I was the person who posted this. It really is hard when your kids are so very different. My child has ADHD, anxiety, probably other undiagnosed things. Thankfully is a pretty decent kid (no drugs, doesn’t cut or skip), she just cannot seem to pull it together to do what she needs to for school. Doesn’t turn in/complete assignments, so falls behind. We had her in avid her last two years, and I don’t think it helped her much.

I was one of those annoying students who barely had to try for good grades. I don’t understand her at all. It’s hard, very hard. I know she can do better, but she’s also just hard headed.

She is in therapy and on meds. We have given her tools. She just has to use them

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The highest and most successful people are C and B students.

I graduated a 77 GPA. C plus. Graduated college a 2.65 GPA. No name school.

I need the degree not a GPA to work. I had a big executive office making 300k to 500k a year last 20 years.

I be cleaning toilets without my college degree

you got a cite for that? it's certainly not true in my world

You got a cite for your world?