Reply to How upset would you be if husband went to a strip club and didn’t disclose it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you don’t indicate anything else about your marriage. How is it, other than this issue? Also, how long married?[/quote]
23 years and I thought it was pretty dang good and solid! Definitely the love of my life but I’m not willing to tolerate cheating. We have been very clear it’s a monogamous relationship.

He does admit this isn’t the first time he’s gone but it’s been like four times and I honestly don’t care except for him not telling me. I have a really hard time getting past “I was too drunk to remember what I did” but fully admits he has a drinking problem and is going to address it. Time will tell.

He was with a friend who I don’t particularly care for who is very pushy/big spender/flashy and I do fully believe his friend initiated going there and my husband can’t say no. On his own he has realized he needs to step away from this friendship (which is a big loss for him I think - one of his closest friends).

He travels a lot which is unavoidable and I have never been concerned until now.  He is completely open with his phone (I have the passcode) and finances (his paycheck goes straight into our bank account and I see most charges - he does have a separate credit card I don’t see but I see the payments coming out and he’s clearly not doing anything crazy except this).  I have point blank asked if he’s ever cheated on me by specific action and, maybe I’m naive, but I do still believe him after all this when he says no. He is 100% the breadwinner and an extremely high earner.

While the speculation regarding men is fun, absolutely no concern about that here.

Can we recover and rebuild trust or do I need to run?[/quote]

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