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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm the parent who keeps the flex schedule so kids aren't in SACC till 6 or stuck in camp aftercare which is ALWAYS terrible. But my career is so stymied by being parent friendly. Really wish we had focused on breadwinner SAHM model rather than equality and "do it all" fallacy.

That's all. Off to pick up my kids from camp. [/quote]

+1 In your same boat OP. My husband was working in big law when I had my first and told me he'd happily be the breadwinner if I wanted to stay at home. I blame years of indoctrination from my education and even my own parents that WOMEN MUST HAVE A CAREER AND YES THEY CAN HAVE IT ALL, I chose to stay in my well paid but stressful consulting job. As much as it hurt to see my baby get whisked off by a nanny (yes, we had the privilege of affording a nanny but I still didn't love the arrangement), [b]I just could not give up my career. I didn't even love my job, but I loved that I had a career and that's what my peers and society told me I had to have. [/b]

Fast forward 5 years, we've had a second kid and husband now works as a government lawyer. I essentially had to mommy track at some point and now I'm neither here nor there. No longer work for the prestigious big name company but still have to keep working so I'm constantly stretched thing as the primary back-up care person, especially in the summer.

Wish I had chosen to be a SAHM when the chance was there. Or not had kids. Or just had one. 
[/quote]

Oof, this hits hard. I feel this so much right now. So much of my identity has been wrapped up in my career. I switched jobs during maternity leave (went back when my DD was 12 weeks old) and pumped/nursed till she was 12 months old, was promoted within 18 months of starting there and then promoted again before the end of my 4th year there. Now flash forward 9 years at this job and I am SO burnt out.

I thought the newborn years were tough ... lolllllllll, this is so much harder. Nothing for an elementary school kid lines up with working hours, where as daycare is catered (obviously) to working parents. But once they are in school... good luck. Yes, there's before/after care, but once they find out most of their friends aren't in before/after care, the guilt sets in. Then once they get into activities, stuff starts at like 4pm!

Right now we are dealing with the reluctance to go to summer camp. And I don't blame her. It's fun enough, but so structured and she's getting up earlier than her body wants to and then she's super involved in an activity that she goes to nearly every night after a long day of camp. Poor kid is TIRED. It's not a relaxing summer for any of us. Her activity is what she loves so she doesn't want to give that up/cut back (she's upset as it is that there are certain classes she can't take due to my work schedule/her camp schedule). She gets left out of things with friends because their moms are either SAHM/teachers/PTWM/WAHM with very flexible schedules... I'm none of those things. Then come the weekends and I'm just playing catch up on life so I never really want to do anything fun. Finally I just said F it last weekend and we spent all day at the pool, but come Monday, we are both paying for it. She's tired and doesn't want to get up early, and I'm behind on laundry and groceries. It's such an exhausting slog. [/quote]

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