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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand. If he is a professor, he has some flexibility to contribute to the house and take care of the kids. Like the whole point of tenure is to have more flexibility. Or is he simply an adjunct? (I doubt that, if he's getting a sabbatical.) Sounds like you don't respect him if you call it a hobby job. 
 
Why are you so burnt out? If your goal is to be a mother then you need to modify your lifestyle to support a single income.[/quote]

I am open to modifying our lifestyle.
We can move back into our old house, and I am happy to do so. Our tenants move out in June, we could do it then.

If we did that, we could live on my husband’s income for the most part. However, he is refusing to do this. 
[/quote]
So you just dont want to work at all, and have your husband support you, but he doesnt make enough? It sounds like you wont let DH take on more household responsibility so you are running yourself ragged trying to do both. Take a more relaxed position, and both work towards a healthy happy future for your kids. [/quote]

I want to work, but I work in a volatile industry, and I am an anxious person. I want to be able to live on one income (his) and save my income / use it for things like college savings and vacations. I overwork now because of anxiety. I think I might be able to work less and stress about work less if he showed more initiative to earn more. I think this would give us the balance you are describing. [/quote]

Learn to manage your anxiety.  Get a better handle on the reality of your finances.  Use a tool like Monarch Money or Empower to see your income, expenses, and net worth so you can deal with real numbers.  You very likely can cut back on your hours and still make a decent income combined with your husband’s. [/quote]

I go in monarch and obsess daily, which is part of my problem I think. I worry about money A LOT.

My industry is a blood bath right now, and I worry constantly. I worry about aging out at my job and facing age discrimination later. I worry that my husband just doesn’t get it and isn’t realistic about how much college costs and how much kids in general cost.

I DO need to get a better handle on my anxiety. I am not sure how to do that while working a job that requires I be in fight or flight mode constantly, and I’m not sure what kind of easier job I could get or do.

My instinct is that my anxiety can be managed by getting to a place where we don’t NEED my income, and I could be more detached emotionally at work. That is why I want my husband to adjust to us not having my income anymore and I stopped putting it into a joint account. [/quote]

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