Reply to Dh does not want a third child but will have one if I want to

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH was the same as yours and said he'd do it b/c he didn't want me to resent him and we went for it.  And our 3rd is an absolutely gem and [b]we both agree probably our "best" child[/b].

But he absolutely resents the situation overall - that 3 are really tough to manage in long stretches for 1 adult (when they're little for safety and ability to meet everyone's different developmental needs, when they're older for logistics) so we are now basically both on all the time except when we're working.  We don't have family close by and neither of our parents can handle 3 when they visit so there is no hope for getting a weekend away from the kids for years.  Its harder to find a babysitter that can manage 3 to get out.  Its harder to find schools or activities that meet the needs of all 3 so you end up needing 2 adults for drop offs and pick-ups and activities.

We throw an insane amount of money at help to make it doable in an enjoyable.  Of course it's doable without that - but the families i see doing it are stretched very thin without a moment to be a person other than "employee" and "parent".  And by middle / high school everyone I know with 3 has 2 adults shuttling kids around  - whether the 2nd one is both spouses worker shorter hours, hired, or family.  Of course you can skip activities - but are you going to want to?[/quote]

The bolded sentiment is revolting to me. Ugh.[/quote]

oh calm down - i say it tongue in cheek.  He's our best sleeper, most easy going personality, low drama even when sick etc.  My point being is that he's the easiest - its not some difficult 3rd baby that pushed us over the edge, just having 3 in general.  We couldn't have asked for an easier 3rd. I love them each for their wild differences.  My 1st born higher needs one (NT, just what dr. becky would call a DFK) is definitely harder to support and parent well with the needs of the toddler also always pulling on me.

who is my "favorite" varies by day and stage.  I absolutely enjoy one more than others at various times, but its constantly envolving which one is in a sweet spot age and personality wise[/quote]

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