Reply to Broken Marriage, Different Places on Where to Go

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It’s really hard for me to say anything because[b] I don’t know what kind of conflicts led you to this place.[/b]  At some point you loved this person and married, and you have a special needs child which makes divorce harder.

What positive outcomes do you think are going to come out of a divorce?[/quote]

I can’t comment on your situation either without knowing what kinds of conflicts happened and if reasonable or not to come back from.

Stress and anger, neglect and ignorance, black & white thinkers versus gray, lack of empathy vs empathy. [/quote]

Simply put, even if our situation were possible to come back from, I'm not interested in that.[/quote]

Why not? I'm not being judgmental here. Your situation sounds really tough and I'm sorry for you. I'm just curious why you wouldn't want to go back to how you felt when you first fell in love with this person. Not saying it's possible, by the way. [/quote]

It's a completely different dynamic once kids become involved, particularly when all short and long-term decisions need to be structured around the limitations/challenges of one of them. We've basically had to become different people, with entirely new personal and familial objectives and values.

Is it possible? Only in the same way that it us possible you could force a loving relationship with some radom person you met on the street. I mean, obviously not that extreme, but I think that's a closer comparison than you might think.

If you've had exposure to other kids, say, neices and nephews, then you might think you have some idea of what you're getting into with kids. And while actual experience varies and can certainly challenge and violate your expectations, there's a lot you often can reasonably and accurately expect if you have a healthy and typical child. But those expectations can become wildly inaccurate with other kids. And that changes you in unpredictable and permanent ways. [/quote]

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