Reply to Broken Marriage, Different Places on Where to Go

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Broken Marriage, Different Places on Where to Go"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Do you blame the special needs on her behavior or her genetics? Did her physical appearance change?

You're stating contradictory things: you can hardly stand her physical presence and you can't bear the sound of her voice, but you're cordial roommates who can sometimes even go out jointly with friends? How does this compute? Doesn't sound cordial.

Are you in therapy, OP? The PP who suggested a depression screening is not wrong. Antidepressants can be a total game changer. SN is very hard on the parents and on the marriage, I really empathize as a SN parent. But you can't let that implode everything forever, by and by you gotta be able to dig yourself out.

Acknowledge to her that she wants something else. Tell her you're not in a place to provide that. Tell her what you're willing to do to improve things, even if it's 5% of what she wants. [/quote]

OP again. Your last paragraph is exactly where we're stuck. We've had that discussion a million times. But how do you deal with someone that won't accept that and doesn't want a divorce?[/quote]
What’s your problem?

Your wife wants a home with a family in it working together.

YOU don’t.

Stop playing some weird game where you try to convince her to divorce you and want a divorce.

It takes ONE to divorce. [/quote]

I don't want a divorce either. I get that you don't like the idea of a parenting marriage, but there's no reason every marriage has to look like what you envision.[/quote]

DP. Your marriage doesn’t have to look like the traditional marriage that your wife envisions, but it doesn’t have to look exactly the way you imagine it either.  
You seem completely unwilling to compromise on anything at all.

If nothing else, you should at least recognize that you are a rigid and difficult person who needs to have things your way.  You accepting who you are would probably go a long way towards her accepting it.  
[/quote]

What compromise is possible when one is physically repulsed by one's spouse? Imagine a wife repulsed by her husband, would you recommend she be less rigid and difficult and more accepting of him?[/quote]

Ok.  Here are some compromises:

1).  You could generally be pleasant when around each other instead of leaving the room.

2)   You could sometimes touch a shoulder or sit next to each other at a meal.

3). You could occasionally compliment something about her (clothes, parenting, funny joke, etc)

4). You could talk about your personal triumphs and difficulties with the kids.

5). You could tell her about your job and whatever is going on there

6). You could tell amusing anecdotes that you know would make her laugh

7). You could do something that’s normally her job if you know she is busy and tell her that you did it to help her out

8). You could tell your kids, in front of her, that they are lucky to have their mom because of xyz.  Even if it’s just her income.

9). You could refrain from criticism that isn’t really that constructive.

10). You could smile when she walks in the room, even if you aren’t feeling it.

[/quote]

These are great. hope people apply it not to Troll threads but great nonetheless.

How to be human and kind and civil, to family members. [/quote]

Thanks![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics