Reply to s/o "I had to change my name because of logistical issues"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm guessing most of the people who have never had an issue are the same race as their husbands and kids.

I am a different race than my White husband. My kids are mixed, but look White. Having the same last name has saved me a ton of hassle in foreign countries, where I already get asked about my relationship to my own children.

For those women who think it's anti-feminist or whatever for me to change my name, maybe you should think about what it's like to not be White or to be in a mixed race marriage or to have chidlren who don't look like you before you pass judgment.[/quote]

I posted earlier about the the only issue different names caused me was getting pool passes.  My DH and I are of different races.  I am white, our kids are mixed and look like their father.

I feel compelled to point out that being a 'feminist' is about choices.  What name you use, what names your kids have should be a choice.  What I find to be anti-feminist is the [b]expectation[/b] that kids would only have their father's name, not if a woman changes her name upon marriage.[/quote]

DP and moreover it's the [b]expectation[/b] that the WOMAN changes her name. It's always so interesting how extremely rare it is to hear men say, I want to change my name to my wife's so that we all have the same last name. Or, I don't feel any ties to my last name so I decided to change it to hers. Or, my name is so hard to spell and pronounced I thought it would simplify things to take my wife's. All valid reasons. Why don't men take up the cause?

Maybe instead of making this a woman thing we need to start promoting the idea that MEN can change their names, too, and should more often think about it if it's important to a couple/family to have one last name. Make it a discussion between couples as to which one will change their name. Don't assume it has to be the woman. Toss a coin if you can't decide, and stick with the decision.  When we get to the point where 50% of name changers are men, then it will seem like the patriarchy is no longer in play with this issue.

So men, step up! This is on you![/quote]

I agree with all this. I don’t understand why women don’t give their last name to their kids if it’s important to share the same name. You most likely carried the child and will do the majority of work raising the child. [/quote]

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