Reply to Mom can't get over that DH doesn't participate in weekly FaceTime calls

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I read your update.

My MIL is the same. Sometimes I wasn't available to do the full family interaction each time. Work, illness, wasn't in the mood, whatever. DH and I would argue because he didn't want the blowback from his mom about why I wasn't participating every time. DH heard it all from MIL (Was something wrong with our marriage? Was I mad at the ILs? Maybe we should reschedule so I could be available.)

DH and I finally got on the same page. Fortunately, it sounds like you and DH are already there. My DH would simply inform them when I wasn't available to be part of a visit (we're kinda local), call, etc. "DW can't make it this Saturday. Hey, do you guys have the tree up yet?" MIL would follow up with worried emails to him, and send passive aggressive emails to me hoping I "feel better soon." LOL

Bottom line >>> neutrality. Your mom can want your DH to participate, she can want DD to be a perfect child with a perfect childhood, she can try to figure out what's going on in your household and marriage. She can do this on her own time in her own mind.

You choose to not let this actually upset the workings of your household and marriage. That's your boundary. "Mom, I hear you, and our family is good." Try to say this lightly without an irritated tone. Repeat as necessary. Your mom's thoughts aren't under your control, but entertaining her agitation and suggestions is under your control.[/quote]

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