Reply to Why does my mom drop everything for random people?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, she thinks she needs to portray a certain public persona, and is worried about what outsiders will think of her, if she says no to them. 
[/quote]

This.

It sounds a little bit like covert narcissism. She does the sweet helpful kindly thing for random people in her life, doesn't have the same warmth toward her own children and grandchildren.

The warmth isn't real, it's an image she projects to these random yoga friends and it feeds her narcissism and her perception of herself as a kindly martyr.

Then she cries that she doesn't see her family enough, woe is me - but she doesn't really want to spend all that time with family who probably don't support her narcissistic view of herself. She prefers the martyr role of being the grandma who is neglected by her family over the actual grandma role of investing time and attention into grandkids and kids.[/quote]

This describes my Mom precisely. I always thought she acted like this because she just knows/assumes her family will always be there, but these other friends won't, so she can put the relationship with her family on "auto pilot" while she prioritizes the other relationships. [/quote]

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