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[quote=Anonymous]Op here. Thank you all for the thoughtful replies. I know a lot of posts focus on DH stepping up to do more while we are away, and while that might help a bit, it is not really why I dislike spending all the holidays away. I feel like a lot of the reasons I dislike it are essentially selfish and only bother me and not anyone else, and it feels selfish to take the joy away from DH and kids by saying no I won’t go. (DH would never go without me)

1. I hate FL. It’s boring and I find that there is so much more to do locally, especially at Christmas. DH ands kids loves FL of course. 
2. I just never feel as comfortable at ILs place as I am in my own house. I feel like I have to dress up more than I would at home, make small talk, I can’t just hang out with no bra on in the house after a long day unless I confine myself to our room. DH and kids are completely comfortable of course. 
3. I’m not a fan of IL cooking- very starchy, heavy, creamy foods all the time. DH and kids love it of course. 
4. IL are big football (and drinking) fans and DH seldom indulges while at home, but with them everyone is obsessed so he joins in the fun. I’m just a spoilsport in their eyes. 
5. The tv is always on. I just hate that. 
6. I never get 1:1 time with DH while there. All our meals are spent with ILs. 
7. Conversations with ILs get old after the first day or two especially when every single moment is spent with them. A lot of recounting of stories from their shared past I’ve heard a million times but still have to smile politely at, very little interest in me as a person independent of their son and grandchildren.  
8. The travel, change in environment, lack of access to all their usual toys disregulates my usually easy kids and makes them more hyper, clingy, affects their sleep and just makes parenting less pleasant. Grandparents also have a tendency to want to indulge them with sweets, screen time which makes it harder to keep being the person who says no. DH thinks it’s ok during the holidays to loosen up a bit but I like to be consistent.

God that was cathartic. I really needed to let all that out. [/quote]

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