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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "I hate where we live."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] If you're on anti-depressants and you are that miserable... ... you won't be very happy elsewhere, OP. Moving is not a magic pill. You're trying to run away from yourself. Fix what's wrong instead, and if you want, you can also move. But treat the two separately, because they are separate. I think your husband understands this about you, hence his moving the goalposts - which, BTW, isn't cool either. But he probably can't articulate what's wrong with your scenario because he's too close to the situation. [/quote] DP here and this is not true. The weather, the natural surroundings, the people (such as family), the available activities can make a big difference. It is possible that she would be unhappy anywhere, but there are a lot of people that don't like DC for a reason. For me, I find it logistically difficult. Our families live out of state, so we miss out on most of their get-togethers and celebrations, and if we want to visit we have to fly our whole family cross-country. We can't just make a last-minute weekend visit. As our parents age I really don't know what we'll do. Also, my DH is stressed out and grumpy from his job and commute, and somehow he can't see what it's doing to him. I know we might not find a better situation somewhere else but it sounds like people are happier when they move to lower-cost, lower-stress areas. [/quote] OP - Thank you. This sums up my situation to a T. I have always been close to my family and living away from them means that I miss out on the little things that fill up my cup. [/quote] But you have lived her a while now, and your family hasn't been close by for a long time. So what are these little things that you are missing out on? Is it possible you are blowing them out of proportion or that they would even continue to happen? You can move back but realize things will be different. Everyone there has their own routines, friends, work, lives, etc and you will be the outsider for a while. Or maybe for a long time. You will have to adapt to they way they do things now and not as you remember them. It's easier to say you want to move vs. working through the issues. Start with telling your DH that his family is welcome to visit at your home but you need a break from going to them so often. Remind him that as people grow older and settle into their own families it's natural that visiting one's parents and siblings is going to decline. This isn't wrong or bad it's just the way it is. You guys might need to consider counseling to learn how to deal with the pressures from family demands. And when your family or their family says they don't want to visit bc they don't like it, counter it with why not? this place is great and insert some fun things to do. They might be extending invites to their home bc you complain so much about hating your own home so they think they are doing you a favor. [/quote]
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