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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t understand how you can have things as organized as you claim with transportation for your kids activities but your only option is to work nights. We all know you aren’t an air traffic controller so what do you do for work op? Are you a sex worker? Not being nasty, not judging, but if you’ve got a good clientele I can understand why you might prefer working nights, probably a better class of customer and probably more money. Like I said, I don’t judge you for what you do, I will judge you for thinking this is a long term viable solution. Newsflash, I haven’t met a mom yet, especially a single mom who doesn’t have the most responsible mature kids in the neighborhood. I hope you can see the sarcasm, your kids I’m sure are lovely, I’m also sure they are teens. I also doubt that you have a supportive community, if you did, you’d not be doing this. For what it’s worth, my kid had a boyfriend who’s mom would do what you are proposing. For a time it worked, her boyfriend was a sweet, caring nice guy. Then his personality began to change. He began to lie to me about his mother’s whereabouts, something I will not put up with. He began to be short with my daughter and with me. Then he began to ignore my daughter, not break up with her, ignore her to the point she wasn’t sure what was going on. Point being, it was too much responsibility for him. And for those of you who will ask, whenever I tried to reach out to the mom, I was ignored or rebuffed. It caused arguments with my husband who thought I wasn’t “doing enough, you never want to help anybody”. No, I just know that the boyfriend wasn’t my kid so I couldn’t even take him to the doctor should he need to go and if I did take him, the first question they’d ask is “where’s mom” and the game was up. What I felt or wanted to do wouldn’t have made a difference. My husband is the softer person in our marriage, and what I learned from this experience is that I refuse to fight with my husband over another mom not doing her job. If the mom had sat down with me, and said “I’ll give you medical power of attorney so you can take my boys to the doctor” that would have been acceptable. At least she would have leveled with me and given me the ability to solve basic easy to solve parenting problems. She didn’t. Then she failed to respond when I needed to get in touch with her, I’d text, no response. I’d call, it would go to voicemail, there was no way I could get in touch with her. I eventually got Grandma’s contact info but I also made no bones about the fact that if I got into a situation I couldn’t solve because again, I’m not a legal guardian for these kids, I will get the police involved and I will tell them exactly what I know “Mom leaves the boys, mom isn’t responding, these boys need medical care, they are being bullied at school, they are telling me they hate soccer and want to quit” whatever it is that a parent can solve quite easily. You are putting an awful lot on your kids and on your neighbors probably without having a discussion and a willingness to give them legally some parenting authority. If you decide to do this, and yes, it is a choice, be ready. School might report you, do you want to deal with it? Your kids may talk about what goes on, and a parent might report you, or you may get to come get your kids from the police when a neighbor says “The older kid called, she’s worried about her sister who seems to really not be feeling well, what do I do”. Are you willing and prepared to deal with that. The police won’t say “we understand, go back to work”. There is more going on here, op, and I personally do not believe you are a put upon struggling single mmom with a run of bad luck. [/quote] Woah. [/quote]
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