Anonymous
11/11/2023 14:25
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.
A 12 year old can stay by themself, what's the issue?
I used to babysit 3 kids, ages infant - age 4, when I was 12!
The entitlement here is showing greatly. Yes, this is fine
Anonymous
11/11/2023 14:15
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.
No. The teen is not an adult. Expecting this is too much. A 16 yo still needs an adult to check in with at night. Is it really this all or nothing?
Anonymous
11/11/2023 14:13
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
I just looked up requirements to get an ATC and doesn't qualify unless she had her 16 yr old when she was 16!
"Why do you have to be under 30 to be an air traffic controller?
One, you can't apply for training once you turn 31 years old before the closing date of the application period. There are limited exceptions, but the FAA through research has determined that the older a person is, the harder it is for them to complete the training.Jun 30, 2023."
"Why do you have to be under 30 to be an air traffic controller?
One, you can't apply for training once you turn 31 years old before the closing date of the application period. There are limited exceptions, but the FAA through research has determined that the older a person is, the harder it is for them to complete the training.Jun 30, 2023."
Anonymous
11/11/2023 14:05
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:If it were me, and I were one of those kids, I would much rather deal with this then losing all income and ending up in dire financial straits.
The HHI financial responsibility should not be foisted on a 16 year old.
Anonymous
11/10/2023 07:06
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's fine as long as both your kids NEVER tell anyone that they are spending the night alone. Not their friends, not their teachers, not their coaches or teammates.
If they can keep it to themselves then it is fine. My grandmother had a baby and lived by herself at 16 while her husband worked the night shift.
I think this is going to be nearly impossible to do and probably an unfair secret to expect a 16 year old to keep. I think it will come out in an innocuous way like she says she has to get home from X activity because mom goes to work and she has to watch her sister or she's talking with one of her friends and she mentions what a pain watching her little sister is.
It isn't impossible, it just needs to be done for safety. You don't want anyone knowing they are alone because a friend tells a friend who thinks it is Ok to go over late at night and hang out because there are no parents, or a teammate tells someone who then thinks it will be easy to break in and attack two girls. Or a teacher calls CPS, etc.
PP here and I agree with what you're saying but I'm saying as a practical matter I think this will come out one way or another even if unintentional. It's not just the teenager that needs to keep it a secret it's the 12 year old too.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 21:37
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:It's fine as long as both your kids NEVER tell anyone that they are spending the night alone. Not their friends, not their teachers, not their coaches or teammates.
If they can keep it to themselves then it is fine. My grandmother had a baby and lived by herself at 16 while her husband worked the night shift.
I think this is going to be nearly impossible to do and probably an unfair secret to expect a 16 year old to keep. I think it will come out in an innocuous way like she says she has to get home from X activity because mom goes to work and she has to watch her sister or she's talking with one of her friends and she mentions what a pain watching her little sister is.
It isn't impossible, it just needs to be done for safety. You don't want anyone knowing they are alone because a friend tells a friend who thinks it is Ok to go over late at night and hang out because there are no parents, or a teammate tells someone who then thinks it will be easy to break in and attack two girls. Or a teacher calls CPS, etc.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 21:26
Subject: Re:Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Yes. A responsible 16 and 12 year old are capable of staying overnight alone. They should already know emergency numbers etc. In case they need help. If it'll help ease your fears install interior/exterior cameras.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 19:22
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Older kids have been looking after younger kids for 1000s of years.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 19:22
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Yes.
Some people have bills to pay.
Some people have bills to pay.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 19:19
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
If it were me, and I were one of those kids, I would much rather deal with this then losing all income and ending up in dire financial straits.
Anonymous
11/09/2023 19:14
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.
No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.
This is parentification and unless it’s very short term and finite, not acceptable.
Not ideal but likely single parent losing all or a significant portion of their income would leave everyone in a worse situation.
Tough.
So it would be better for them all to end up homeless?
No. You find another job.
Thanks to ninny mommies like you, this is the least capable generation in American history.
Yes, a 16 year old can care for a sibling overnight.
Not on a permanent basis which is what OP is proposing.
Yes, they can. I lived by myself at 16. This is ridiculous.
Anonymous
11/07/2023 23:17
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Yes. Omg.
Anonymous
11/06/2023 09:19
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Assume the parent works overnight. What are your honest thoughts on a (mature, responsible) 16yo and a (mature, responsible) 12yo (both girls) watching themselves 3-4 days a week. The alternative is the parent loses their job, which is niche (think air traffic controller) and salary not easily found elsewhere without experience. Other parent not in picture.
No. It is not ok. A 16 yr old is still a child a she should not be put in a permanent situation where she is responsible for a younger sibling. You are putting the responsibility of HHI on a teenager and this is unconscionable.
Careful, your privilege is showing.
She is not permanently responsible for her younger sibling. 3-4 nights a week mom works nights and they eat dinner and go to bed themselves. Is it ideal? No. And I’m sure a lot of kids couldn’t handle it. But sounds like these girls are mature and responsible and it’s working well.
not pp Let me get this straight according to you only wealthy upper class children should be expected to have a childhood being loved, fed, clothed, housed, educated and expected not to take on adult responsibilities? In my view it is you that needs to check your viewpoint. If the adult cannot afford two children than the adult should stop at one. It is not the job of the 16 year old to take on the daily care of their younger child. We aren't in the 19th century when this was expected.
Your response "careful your privilege is showing" is very condescending and smug. You should work on that but, probably it is too late because you are too busy virtual signaling. Also, it isn't your kid or even you that is living through this so I find your attitude very dismissive.
Anonymous
11/06/2023 09:09
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
My Boomer parents did worse.
I would float it as a babysitting job to the 16 year old and offer compensation, so they're not just being used as slave labor. It requires them to be in the house. I presume they'd be responsible keeping the 12 year old from eating potato chips for dinner
I would float it as a babysitting job to the 16 year old and offer compensation, so they're not just being used as slave labor. It requires them to be in the house. I presume they'd be responsible keeping the 12 year old from eating potato chips for dinner
Anonymous
11/03/2023 11:08
Subject: Can a 16yo watch a 12yo overnight, every night?
Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how you can have things as organized as you claim with transportation for your kids activities but your only option is to work nights. We all know you aren’t an air traffic controller so what do you do for work op? Are you a sex worker? Not being nasty, not judging, but if you’ve got a good clientele I can understand why you might prefer working nights, probably a better class of customer and probably more money. Like I said, I don’t judge you for what you do, I will judge you for thinking this is a long term viable solution. Newsflash, I haven’t met a mom yet, especially a single mom who doesn’t have the most responsible mature kids in the neighborhood. I hope you can see the sarcasm, your kids I’m sure are lovely, I’m also sure they are teens.
I also doubt that you have a supportive community, if you did, you’d not be doing this.
For what it’s worth, my kid had a boyfriend who’s mom would do what you are proposing. For a time it worked, her boyfriend was a sweet, caring nice guy. Then his personality began to change. He began to lie to me about his mother’s whereabouts, something I will not put up with. He began to be short with my daughter and with me. Then he began to ignore my daughter, not break up with her, ignore her to the point she wasn’t sure what was going on. Point being, it was too much responsibility for him. And for those of you who will ask, whenever I tried to reach out to the mom, I was ignored or rebuffed. It caused arguments with my husband who thought I wasn’t “doing enough, you never want to help anybody”. No, I just know that the boyfriend wasn’t my kid so I couldn’t even take him to the doctor should he need to go and if I did take him, the first question they’d ask is “where’s mom” and the game was up. What I felt or wanted to do wouldn’t have made a difference. My husband is the softer person in our marriage, and what I learned from this experience is that I refuse to fight with my husband over another mom not doing her job. If the mom had sat down with me, and said “I’ll give you medical power of attorney so you can take my boys to the doctor” that would have been acceptable. At least she would have leveled with me and given me the ability to solve basic easy to solve parenting problems. She didn’t. Then she failed to respond when I needed to get in touch with her, I’d text, no response. I’d call, it would go to voicemail, there was no way I could get in touch with her. I eventually got Grandma’s contact info but I also made no bones about the fact that if I got into a situation I couldn’t solve because again, I’m not a legal guardian for these kids, I will get the police involved and I will tell them exactly what I know “Mom leaves the boys, mom isn’t responding, these boys need medical care, they are being bullied at school, they are telling me they hate soccer and want to quit” whatever it is that a parent can solve quite easily.
You are putting an awful lot on your kids and on your neighbors probably without having a discussion and a willingness to give them legally some parenting authority.
If you decide to do this, and yes, it is a choice, be ready. School might report you, do you want to deal with it? Your kids may talk about what goes on, and a parent might report you, or you may get to come get your kids from the police when a neighbor says “The older kid called, she’s worried about her sister who seems to really not be feeling well, what do I do”. Are you willing and prepared to deal with that. The police won’t say “we understand, go back to work”.
There is more going on here, op, and I personally do not believe you are a put upon struggling single mmom with a run of bad luck.
Woah.