Reply to Love DH but he’s low sex drive…considering a business trip affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi OP.

If you went through with this, how would DH react if he found out?

Is there a way you could train him, or condition him, to be more open to you doing this, without outright saying it?  Maybe, over time, you could make him see it more your way, and at least be open to a “don’t ask don’t tell” situation? [/quote]

That’s an interesting idea, thank you.  I think something blunt like “how about an open marriage” would be too scary and get rejected - that’s actually one talk we have never had.  But maybe easing into it.  I would (clearly) be OK with a DADT, although as another recent thread notes, you run the risk of one of the 4+ participants getting too emotionally involved. [/quote]

Sorry and to your first question - he’d be terribly sad and hurt, hence why I’m trying to think through all the angles.[/quote]

Yes I think aside from the morality of it, the cost/benefit has to be weighed.
Worst case scenario: he finds out and it blows up the marriage.
And all your friends and relatives know that you ended a 25-year marriage to have sex with some guy in a work trip.
If it’s worth taking that chance then do it.

You could be fortunate and the guy you pick is discreet and it’s fun and it even feels exciting bc of the naughty and secretive nature of the whole thing gives you a rush…and then he goes away quietly and your DH never knows!

Or maybe you get a Stage 5 clinger who calls your cell or stalks your home and threatens to tell your DH….
Or he winds up finding out somehow…

Really think through all the possibilities. Only you can decide if the potential payoff is worth the risk.
[/quote]

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