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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH is an only child and has a tiny family - he has no cousins (his mom also has no siblings and his dad has a sibling who never married or had kids). DH’s family is Jewish, so we fell into a groove spending Thanksgiving with his family and Christmas with mine. Prior to COVID they used to host a big dinner with 20-25 people which included some of their close friends and their kids, and eventually all the grandkids. It was loud and fun. However, post-COVID, Thanksgiving became much smaller and now just includes DH’s parents and aunt (ages 79-82). Honestly, it’s not fun at all for our kids as all they want to do is have typical grown up conversations at the table vs. engaging our 2 kids who are 4 and 8. Plus, they always want to host which means 4+ hours of travel for a pretty subdued weekend that frankly my kids find boring (parents just sit around reading the paper and there isn’t much to do where they live).

After doing that for the past two years, I would love to change things up. My parents have graciously invited DH’s parents and aunt to come to their house for Thanksgiving - they could stay with my parents and the only expense would be a flight (which DH offered for us to cover). I have 2 siblings who also have kids and many cousins with kids, so my kids always have the best time running around.

Of course DH’s parents said they don’t want to change the plans and come to my parents’ house - they don’t like to travel over holidays, and they said they think it will be a “zoo” which is not their style.

Obviously we aren’t going to leave DH’s parents alone with just his aunt, but I am annoyed they won’t even consider it. I have no choice but to suck it up and keep our current tradition going, right?[/quote]

No don't suck it up.  Go where you want to go.  They have their Thanksgivings.  You even graciously invited them.
I suppose in the past I would have said go because they are old but two old demanding women ( my mom and MIl) made me realize nothing is good enough and they are never happy.  Make fun memories for your kids and if that is with your family than go for it!

Live your life.  You aren't going to get an award for suffering.[/quote]

Are you dumb? Is the OP you? Your family's dysfunction is not what the OP is venting about!

Also, both you mom and MIL are unhappy with you?  The problem is you!![/quote]

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