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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Team OP here (and no, I am nit a Boomer),
It does not take much to be polite. It sounds like OP is trying. DIL can grow up and do the same.

OP, I would ask DD about it. Yes, I know I many will say I should ask DS (spouse) first, but I would self check myself to see if I’m reading too much into things first.

Hope it gets better. DH and I have a good relationship with our respective ILs and it will really bother me if we don’t have the same in the future.

[/quote]

In what universe is saying “No, thank you; I already had a glass of red wine” not polite? She politely declined and gave a perfectly good reason. (Not that she owed anyone a reason.)[/quote]
+1 what is she supposed to say to the DIL?  "I noticed you won't drink the margarita even though I know you like it.  I'm sure you'd drink it if your mother made it".  wtf.   Don't say that. You would sound petty and ridiculous.

Maybe in general she doesn't join you because you've consciously or subconsciously made her feel bad or inferior to you.

I know my SIL is not engaged with us, and that's fine with us because she's a whackadoodle.[/quote]

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