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[quote=Anonymous]I can admit to some light social engineering in ES (as in, "honey -- that kid punched Larlo and shoved Larla, so maybe see if Sophia wants to go down the slide with you")- nothing crazy. Not much discouraging of friendships (i.e. whoever you like from class is more than welcome at the birthday party), but I did encourage friendships that I thought were a good match for the children and the families. It may be a first gen tendency (I can be very strict comparatively, and we need friends who at least get it if not agree), but in the back of my mind, understanding if values were compatible with ours was a thought (not the sole thought).

I do not get involved in MS. It's for the kids to figure it out. While I still think about values a little, my kid is becoming their own person and will have to negotiate personalities on her own.

I find a lot of the parental complaining starting at the tween years comes from those who have sour grapes that they didn't lay a foundation for their kids to be friendlier with children that you'd actually want your kids to be friends with. It's usually not that their kids have "no friends"- it's just not the "right" friends so if those desired friend groups are good and happy as they are, suddenly it's exclusion and bullying against their child. Friendships must come naturally at that age and can't be forced.[/quote]

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