Reply to Husband wants to move out of DMV but my job is here

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]First of all, you need to stop taking responsibility for his feelings and treat him like an adult.

Your husband needs to own what he is asking you to give up. If you’re a fed chemist and your only job opportunity in rural Maine would be working as a high school Chem teacher, your husband needs to verbalize that he wants you to give up your career. He needs to have a plan for how your family is going to deal with the financial loss of half your HHI. To be honest, your husband’s approach of putting pressure on you and turning you into a roadblock type boss or mommy figure who is saying “no” to his dreams is a big red flag.

The second red flag is that he’s not doing any of the work to come up with a plan. And again, this happening when he actively wants something from you. This is the most amenable he’s ever going to be to putting in work to make this happen. If you move this is not a guy who is going to help if you end up depressed and isolated in a blizzard in Maine. He’s going to annoyed you’re such a downer.

And lastly, you say your marriage is on the rocks. These types of moves with a trailing spouse tend to stress the best of marriages. In your case it’s very likely to be the final catalyst towards the divorce. Then you’d be stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no career potential until your daughter graduates high school. [/quote]

This. Op, put pressure on dh to plan “for the whole family” not just for himself.  Also, if he likes, he can move on his own and do long distance for a while with him there and you here. See how he settles… [/quote]

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