Reply to SIL and dad’s funeral

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Thanks for this, helpful reminder of the different dynamics. My family is like your DH side, culturally super important to show up. Maybe part of the bristle I feel is the cultural divide (and the sorrow I feel for my mom, as culturally in law relationships are important but my husband’s family — though not my husband — has different cultural values).[/quote]
Deepest condolences. I have lost a parent and grandparents to whom I was very close, so I say this with experience and enormous respect, you are taking out your grief in the form
Of anger directed at her.
She reached out, you did not call back, she texted, you did not respond with, I need X,Y, Z.
EVERYONE is different. She may feel that she is being respectful and consent following your lead.
If you do not say what you want, HOW WILL SHE KNOW?
Frankly, I did not want meals dropped off. Do you read DCUM, people are nasty and not everyone can cook.
Look , you are immensely sad. Her actions are no indication of how great your dad was or how close you were to him.
Just feel your feelings. Let this go, life has a lot more hills and valleys and there is no point in writing her off because she did not psychically know you wanted a free fruit bowl.
[/quote]

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