Reply to Is Throwing or breaking objects during an argument = domestic violence?

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Reply to "Is Throwing or breaking objects during an argument = domestic violence?"

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH on occasion would kick and throw things when we had a bad argument.  The things never hit me, but they were close by. On a couple occasions he got in my face when yelling. It was frightening. It seemed to get worse once we had kids. I realized I was living in fear and walking on eggshells around him every day. He'd gaslight trying to convince me it wasn't a big deal and it was fine to get his anger out that way. He grew up in an abusive home, so I was trying to be understanding and help him through his unprocessed pain. But yea, it definitely felt like emotional abuse.

One day we sat down and I made it clear that these expressions of anger were not going to work. I wasn't going to tolerate living in fear and it wasn't an example I wanted for our children. I said if it happened one more time I would divorce him, without hesitation, and I meant it. I started planning my exit so I was prepared. Our next bad argument happened and I was waiting for the moment he'd explode. Nothing. The next one a few months later, nothing. The next one, nothing. It never happened again. That was 8 years ago. He's a great dad to our kids and otherwise a good person.

We are still together, but I will say, the fear has never completely gone away, and there's a trust that's been forever lost. And that's the saddest part of this. [/quote]

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