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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

I never thought my stbx would and there were no hours unaccounted for.  We still had regular sex and laughed and socialized together.  He still planned romantic things.  Together 20 years. I was absolutely floored and blind-sided when I found out he had a no-strings arrangement with a married woman once a month.  His friends and family were shocked.[/quote]

[b]How do you recover any faith in men or a long term relationship after something like this?[/b][/quote]

I never recovered.  Lost faith/trust in everyone and everything after that monumental blindside in 25-year relationship.[/quote]

This is what the chump lady website is all about. How to get yourself to forgive. Feel vulnerable again and be ok to leave if it happens again to you. [/quote]

We do a massive disservice to (mainly) women by pretending that infidelity must be some massive destructive force that is necessarily indicative of a relationship that needs to end.

Many people who genuinely love their spouses and families, and who are fundamentally good people, have succumbed to sexual (or emotional) urges. That’s just human nature 101. It’s always been that way, always will be that way. If your marriage is otherwise strong, I say you just deal with it. I know I’m in the minority but honestly I just don’t feel that strongly about an occasional one-off sexual thing. Wouldn’t really bother me. (Clearly an extended affair and the conscious deception and likely neglect that comes with it is a different thing, I’m not talking about that.)

And for those of you who are adamant that you, your spouse, your friends, your parents, your aunts and uncles and your mailman have such pristine records of fidelity: Please. You sound delusional. I happen to personally know one frequent DCUM poster who would absolutely be in that group… and her DH, who is a really good husband and father and is clearly deeply in love with her, has admitted to/bragged about cheating multiple times when among his guy friends.

Human beings aren’t all one thing, good or bad. [/quote]

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