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[quote=Anonymous]Good to see these comments. My mum is never unkind and is basically a decent person, but she never asks me how I am. I saw her today and asked her why she never asks me how I am, or how work is going, or what I’ve been up to since we last saw each other and she said she doesn’t like to be nosy. And she then acted like I was being horrible to her even though I was just saying I felt sad she never asked. I did feel very emotional as I’ve been going through a marriage break up for the second time (he left me for the second time in five years after two years back together) and she’s doesn’t know because she’s never asked ANYTHING. I told her a few months ago we were giving it another go, and she said that’s nice and changed the subject and has never mentioned it again. It took me over a year to tell her.

But she’s happy to spend an hour or more talking about her friends and what she’s been up to as I ask how so and so is and what she’s been up to.

Sometimes as I’m getting into my car to go home she will ask how my work is going and of course there’s no time to talk then…!

I’ve asked her previously to ask me how I am and she said she’s more interested in her own personal life/personal things. I am her daughter so surely part of her life and I visit her every couple of weeks. She doesn’t visit me as she can’t work out where I live as it’s a short train ride away even though she’s travelled by train hundreds of times over her life. I don’t mind going to her but another example of the onesidedness.

I not in contact with my dad so don’t get parental care from him either. He sends me some money from time to time which is great but doesn’t even send a happy birthday text or happy Christmas.

I feel so envious when I see people with parents who are interested in them and wonder what it is about me. I am a loving mum and am genuinely interested in my kids’ lives without overstepping so at least hopefully changing things.

I told my mum today that asking how someone is isn’t nosy, that it opens up the whole conversation and then they can tell you as much as they like. If they don’t want to talk they will just say I’m fine.

Felt good to write this down and feel like others understand. Best wishes to all and hope you’ve all got someone who asks you how you are and listens. It’s such a gift xx

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