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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.

I am surprised this thread took off. To be clear, I did not mean that people in big law should never complain to anyone about their jobs, or that it is not an objectively tough career, or that I made perfect choices in my life (far from it!). I am actually a pretty empathetic person and will frequently serve as a sounding board for my friends and neighbors.

Everyone complains about things that are hard sometimes!

However, complaining and then following up with how despite how miserable you are, there is no way to change your circumstances is another thing entirely. It's especially egregious when your audience is a person or group of people who undoubtedly make way less money and you are specifically saying you can't do something different because it's impossible to live on less money, so you have no other options. I do not live in a super expensive neighborhood for DC so I challenge the notion that people would need a big law salary to pay their mortgage, though I get that everyone's finances are different. I am not saying it's easy to make a lateral move but most attorneys in this area have tons of options, especially compared to people without advanced degrees.

That's all! [/quote]

Yup, the issue is not "I don't like my job" or "My job is stressful."

The issue is "I can't leave my job [because then I'd have to live the way you do, and YUCK]." Which, for the record, is actually what some people who complain about this issue actually mean. Some people don't mean it explicitly but may simply not be self-aware enough to realize it's implied. And some people don't mean it at all but still lack self-awareness in how it is interpreted.[/quote]
You’re mistaking your projection and self-centeredness for a lack of self awareness in others. That’s not inherently the subtext of these complaints.[/quote]

Guess what, most people are self-centered. You are expecting other people to someone NOT be self-centered and to empathize with someone who is saying "I can't possible leave my job that I hate because then I'd make less money" when they make signficantly more money than the person they are saying to this. It is an unrealistic expectation.

That is what I mean by self-awareness. People who do this are vastly overestimating the capacity of others to totally set aside their own situation and lives and instead simply empathize with their situation. Most people can't/won't do it, and thus if you run around whining to people about how hard your 300-500k/yr job is and how you can't possible leave it because this amount of money is essential to functioning, be prepared for people to roll their eyes, talk about you behind your back, and generally consider you to be a tool.

I'm not weighing in on the morality of this. It's just how the world works.[/quote]

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