Reply to Big law attorneys who complain about the lifestyle

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What irritates me is believing that making a choice to do something means you aren't allowed to complain about it. Becoming a parent, going to a rigorous school, getting married, taking a low-paying job, living close to family, etc. are all valid choices and they also have valid downsides. I get that it's a little off-putting to complain about a job that puts in in the top 1% of earners, but that objection is unrelated to the choice to take the job. [/quote]

You have to choose your audience.

Everyone can complain about the aspects of their lives that are hard. But THINK about the person you are talking to before doing so.

Do you think it is appropriate for an UMC person to complain to their nanny or housekeeper, who is making maybe 40-60k yr in a labor intensive job, about their work? Especially if that nanny/housekeeper can see that this is someone who has a lot of flexibility to work remotely, lives in a nice house, can afford lots of nice electronics and clothes and high quality food? No, that's incredibly rude and poor form.

As a lawyer, would you complain to the paralegals or assistants in your office about how hard your job is and how many hours you work, knowing that not only do they make significantly less than you, but they also often suffer the same consequences of a difficult business that you do? They might not work exactly the same hours and don't have the same level of responsibility so not quite as much stress, but they are working hard on the exact same projects as you, in an often high stress environment. Is that the correct audience for you to complain about the challenges of your job? No, it absolutely is not.

[b]Well guess what, the mom from down the street who chose to leave Big Law for a much lower paying legal career is ALSO not the right audience.
[/b]
The truth is that the more money you make and have, the more selective you need to be about complaining. It is a downside of wealthy, but guess what? You have a ton of resources and can use them to find people to complain to. You can complain to your spouse, you can hire a therapist or life coach, you can develop relationships with colleagues on your level that enable you to vent about these aspects of the job. But no, you cannot complain about how demanding your very high paying job is to people who make much, much less than you and don't have the kind of relationship with you that obligates them to a very high level of empathy/tolerance of complaining. And that includes friends in very different economic situations. Grow up and accept this. Very few people owe you their time and bottomless empathy just because you have a very stressful, demanding job.[/quote]

Oh but why? They CHOOSE to make less money. It’s all in their control. Why would they be sensitive about it when it’s all their personal choices? [/quote]

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