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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find this thread so disheartening. I'm not discounting OP's worries, I can relate and sympathize and I'm sure she only wants the best for her child. But as someone who has struggled with high-functioning anxiety all my life, I can't help but wonder what we are doing to these kids. Why are we deliberately teaching them that this sort of pressure cooker environment is not only acceptable, but desirable and that "making it" will ultimately define their self-worth? Many of these kids will go into adult life thinking that that's how they ought to live: constantly under pressure, for reasons that are completely outside of themselves. I really don't mean this as an attack on anyone, it just makes me really sad that this is where we're at.[/quote]

If you don't want pressure, don't send you kid to a big 3. Choosing a high school that is proud of holding the line on grade inflation and then freaking out over a C is ridiculous.  [/quote]

Agree with this 100%.  If your kid has "high functioning anxiety" then Sidwell or NCS is probably the best fit for them.  But there are plenty of parents who insist that they are and go prestige chasing and their kid has a relatively miserable 
high school experience.  I'd put this percentage at 25%.

There are plenty of kids who function just fine with the stress and high expectations. They thrive under the pressure.  They were bored out of their minds in public or a more laid-back private.  These kids love and need the super high expectations
of a school that demands a lot of work, has no retakes (i.e. demands perfection the first time), grade deflation (i.e. competition for As), etc.

There are many of us who have both types of these kids.  I am one of them.  I have kid A (the high intense one).  She LOVES the pressure of her Big3.  She thrives. There is not an anxious bone in her body.  We have joked since she was a child that she will grow up to be a trauma surgeon or someone who detonates bombs for a living because she has ice water in her veins.  She loves a challenging test where she has to think "live" on the test. She is absolutely thriving at Big3 that frankly has no grace regarding grading and high expectations. In contrast she was floundering and wondering what the point was at a loosey-goosey public school.  She has many peers at her Big3 who are just like she is.

In contrast, our son is nothing like his sister.  He needs supportive and flexible.  He is probably just as smart as his sister is but he has low level anxiety. He would be miserable at her school.  And yet many parents insist on putting kids like him at her school and they're not happy.

These privates aren't one-size-fits all and they don't claim to be.  And fit has nothing to do with intelligence or skill.  It's far more about personality. 
[/quote]

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