Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our DS graduated from a big 3 and had good (but not outstanding) academics and solid (but not outstanding) extracurriculars. ACT was a 31. He got into UCLA but not Berkeley. He also got into Michigan and was waitlisted at Chapel Hill. You definitely don't need "perfect grades" to get into those schools.

Wow. That’s a low ACT score too for top 20.

OP already mentioned their kid goes to Cornell. It’s the whole reason why this thread from 2019 got revived in the first place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No legacies from Langley? as if 98% of the McLean parents are college graduates? Right.

Majority of kids got into Ivy league schools from Langley High are Asians. These kids are not legacies at all. They are the second-generation immigrants. Of course, their parents are highly-educated professionals in IT or other areas.

It's entirely possible that at least some are legacies. Plenty of Asian Americans who attended college in the US in the late 80s and early 90s have college aged children now and they are all applying.

Yes, these Asian Americans came to the US to attend graduate schools to get master's and PhDs. Some of them went to Ivy league schools. But their kids are not legacies. Only an applicant is regarded as a legacy because a parent or other relative attended the same school as an Undergraduate student.

Off-setting the Harvard lawsuit by letting them in in case they start looking at other schools too

Anonymous wrote:Our DS graduated from a big 3 and had good (but not outstanding) academics and solid (but not outstanding) extracurriculars. ACT was a 31. He got into UCLA but not Berkeley. He also got into Michigan and was waitlisted at Chapel Hill. You definitely don't need "perfect grades" to get into those schools.

Wow. That’s a low ACT score too for top 20.

Anonymous wrote:OP, where does your child attend college?

Cornell, as core mentioned. This thread brings back the memories.

The chances she will get into the schools you name are very low—but they’d be very low if she’d gotten a B.

There is some liberation in accepting it won’t happen and not stressing too much about grades. If she gets a couple more C’s she can still go to a good college and get a great education, and have a way less stressful high school experience. Trying to double down on an unlikely path is a recipe for disappointment.

Is the C+ the year grade or the semester grade? Usually, only the year grade appears on the transcript and is what is used to calculate GPA. Also, being realistic, As and Bs sounds more like top half, not top 1/3.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're the adult, so I recommend you help her put this in perspective. It's not a dreaded grade, she's not doomed, the world isn't coming to an end. Help her figure out what she could do differently in her next science class, celebrate her successes, and have a good summer.

OMG....this.

I have done university admissions for years and one grade doesn't sink anyone. We look for trends. If she consistently gets B's and C's in maths or sciences, that would absolutely impact her ability to get into some schools. But more importantly....and I have had this discussion with SO many parents and students....IT IS THE STUDENT AND NOT THE SCHOOL that makes success! Especially in the new economy. It won't matter a bit if DS graduates from Cornell with a 3.75 if she doesn't have job-specific skills. Pick a school because it's a good fit for your child and not because of the name across the top of the diploma. Really....almost no one cares anymore unless you are going into academia (and good lord don't go into academia).

What was your university's admit rate? I think that would provide some very important context for anyone reading your advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP--I would really encourage your child to pursue a big meaningful extra curricular if you are shooting for schools like Duke, Northwestern, etc. She's applying against the kids at her school and there will be some kids with all A's. Your child needs to differentiate themself in another way.

If you are interested in the UCs, they only take grades from 10th/11th and only add weight to AP/IB--not DMV private honors. You could consider trying to offset that C+ with a dual enrollment class. The UC websites are pretty clear with what classes are required, which give a GPA bump, what the minimum OOS GPAs are (they are higher than in-state).

Good luck!

This is great advice.

Also want to add that your DD is not doomed b/c of the C+ but it’s very hard to be admitted to Duke/Northwestern unless there is an actual hook (legacy/1stGen/athlete/URM) or a VERY, VERY good soft hook (exceptional/unique EC). The C+ may be a blessing in disguise if it means she starts to focus on other schools now. IMHO not worth wasting ED on Duke/Northwestern without a hook no matter what the grades/test scores are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread so disheartening. I'm not discounting OP's worries, I can relate and sympathize and I'm sure she only wants the best for her child. But as someone who has struggled with high-functioning anxiety all my life, I can't help but wonder what we are doing to these kids. Why are we deliberately teaching them that this sort of pressure cooker environment is not only acceptable, but desirable and that "making it" will ultimately define their self-worth? Many of these kids will go into adult life thinking that that's how they ought to live: constantly under pressure, for reasons that are completely outside of themselves. I really don't mean this as an attack on anyone, it just makes me really sad that this is where we're at.

If you don't want pressure, don't send you kid to a big 3. Choosing a high school that is proud of holding the line on grade inflation and then freaking out over a C is ridiculous.

Agree with this 100%. If your kid has "high functioning anxiety" then Sidwell or NCS is probably the best fit for them. But there are plenty of parents who insist that they are and go prestige chasing and their kid has a relatively miserable
high school experience. I'd put this percentage at 25%.

There are plenty of kids who function just fine with the stress and high expectations. They thrive under the pressure. They were bored out of their minds in public or a more laid-back private. These kids love and need the super high expectations
of a school that demands a lot of work, has no retakes (i.e. demands perfection the first time), grade deflation (i.e. competition for As), etc.

There are many of us who have both types of these kids. I am one of them. I have kid A (the high intense one). She LOVES the pressure of her Big3. She thrives. There is not an anxious bone in her body. We have joked since she was a child that she will grow up to be a trauma surgeon or someone who detonates bombs for a living because she has ice water in her veins. She loves a challenging test where she has to think "live" on the test. She is absolutely thriving at Big3 that frankly has no grace regarding grading and high expectations. In contrast she was floundering and wondering what the point was at a loosey-goosey public school. She has many peers at her Big3 who are just like she is.

In contrast, our son is nothing like his sister. He needs supportive and flexible. He is probably just as smart as his sister is but he has low level anxiety. He would be miserable at her school. And yet many parents insist on putting kids like him at her school and they're not happy.

These privates aren't one-size-fits all and they don't claim to be. And fit has nothing to do with intelligence or skill. It's far more about personality.

Anonymous wrote:I find this thread so disheartening. I'm not discounting OP's worries, I can relate and sympathize and I'm sure she only wants the best for her child. But as someone who has struggled with high-functioning anxiety all my life, I can't help but wonder what we are doing to these kids. Why are we deliberately teaching them that this sort of pressure cooker environment is not only acceptable, but desirable and that "making it" will ultimately define their self-worth? Many of these kids will go into adult life thinking that that's how they ought to live: constantly under pressure, for reasons that are completely outside of themselves. I really don't mean this as an attack on anyone, it just makes me really sad that this is where we're at.

If you don't want pressure, don't send you kid to a big 3. Choosing a high school that is proud of holding the line on grade inflation and then freaking out over a C is ridiculous.

OP--I would really encourage your child to pursue a big meaningful extra curricular if you are shooting for schools like Duke, Northwestern, etc. She's applying against the kids at her school and there will be some kids with all A's. Your child needs to differentiate themself in another way.

If you are interested in the UCs, they only take grades from 10th/11th and only add weight to AP/IB--not DMV private honors. You could consider trying to offset that C+ with a dual enrollment class. The UC websites are pretty clear with what classes are required, which give a GPA bump, what the minimum OOS GPAs are (they are higher than in-state).

Good luck!

I find this thread so disheartening. I'm not discounting OP's worries, I can relate and sympathize and I'm sure she only wants the best for her child. But as someone who has struggled with high-functioning anxiety all my life, I can't help but wonder what we are doing to these kids. Why are we deliberately teaching them that this sort of pressure cooker environment is not only acceptable, but desirable and that "making it" will ultimately define their self-worth? Many of these kids will go into adult life thinking that that's how they ought to live: constantly under pressure, for reasons that are completely outside of themselves. I really don't mean this as an attack on anyone, it just makes me really sad that this is where we're at.

Our DS graduated from a big 3 and had good (but not outstanding) academics and solid (but not outstanding) extracurriculars. ACT was a 31. He got into UCLA but not Berkeley. He also got into Michigan and was waitlisted at Chapel Hill. You definitely don't need "perfect grades" to get into those schools.

This cannot be true in the last three years or you are omitting another piece of information regarding a hook such as URM, etc.

OP, where does your child attend college?

Anonymous wrote:Our DS graduated from a big 3 and had good (but not outstanding) academics and solid (but not outstanding) extracurriculars. ACT was a 31. He got into UCLA but not Berkeley. He also got into Michigan and was waitlisted at Chapel Hill. You definitely don't need "perfect grades" to get into those schools.

When was this? Times have changed. It is much harder now with test optional to get into these schools.